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Quote by Kilroy J. Oldster

“Philosopher Bertrand Russell said, ‘Language sometimes conceals the complexity of a belief.’ Language also sometimes reveals basic truths. Through the time consuming task of writing one word after another and linking language to thought, I shall tell my sordid tale with the goal of plotting an acceptable thematic purposefulness to a life already half-lived. I will attempt to ferret out the hidden self and through an act of will alter my life course. The following chapters relate the culture that birthed me, the family that raised me, the educational system that tested me, the social affairs that shaped me, the friends and lovers that scorned me, the legal profession that rebuked me, and my personal quest to rewrite the construction of a loathsome self-image. How this scaled adventure will end, no one knows, but if any of us knew how our lives would actually unfold, how many of us would say ‘yes’ to all that is. Mahatma Gandhi said, ‘Be the change you wish to see in the world.’ My goal is to employ human free will to attempt to recast my fundamental character and develop the courage and mental equanimity to accept whatever will be – accept a largely deterministic world – while still making the most of my imitable human gifts to imbue this life sojourn with purposeful and evocative experiences of a compassionate and charitable human being.”

Quote by Kilroy J. Oldster

Book:Dead Toad Scrolls
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Dead Toad Scrolls

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Kilroy J. Oldster

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“In the late afternoon of their life, a precautious person outgrows the fulsome myths that fueled their impressionable youth. Perceived truths of a fawning youth no longer appear self-evident. A previously established cultural script and its lavish adornments that guided me to the crucial midpoint were no longer relevant. Impetuous acts of spontaneity that demarked my boisterous and animated youth were now irresponsible affections. When I aged and encountered the red claws of a carnivorous existence, I grew weary of the bone meal journey into the unknown. I was suspicious of other people, mistrustful of my personal abilities, and contemptuous of my nascent life plan. New truths must be uncovered. I must fuse an innovative philosophy out of the modest pinpoints of experience garnered in traversing the rocky terrain of living a thespian’s stage-managed existence. Reaching a critical juncture in life, I need to make sense of the past, come to terms with the present, take a cold-eyed assessment of my future prospects, and decide what to do.”

MemoirPhilosophy Of LifeSelf DevelopmentChange Your LifeMemoir WritingLife ChoicesSelf TransformationSelf TranscendenceSelf EvaluationSelf Evolution
Book:Dead Toad Scrolls
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“I commenced writing this scroll in a frenzied attempt to find myself. I wished to ascertain how the concertina wire that cinches the plasma pool of my biological capsule together stitches a person into the vacillating web of eternity. Instead of my wild ravings spooling out answers, the act of writing nonstop in the midst of my darkest hours triggered a torrent of questions to examine. Each adamant question posed led to a baffling string of insistent conundrums. I orchestrated an urgent caucus, and tenaciously conducted a fact-finding mission. I held a self-questioning klatch attempting to pierce a spool of secular inquiries, a series of pious and profane questions that compressed upon my confused mind. The resultant positive displacement and negative displacement of febrile energy generated from this disorientating and mind-numbing process of rigorous self-scrutiny spun me akin to a crazed top. Unsure of my destiny, I lunged into the unknown, diving headfirst into the indecipherable parts of my reeling existence. I asked questions and sought answers, examined a sundry of personal experiences, and listened to my inner vibrations. How does a person square their mystical self to the undulating camber of life? How does anyone face the deflating specter of the impending death of his or her beloved? I seek to develop a desirable quotient of self-confidence and gain the needed degree of brio to tackle life. I wish to learn how to savor every moment, come to terms with impairing personal fears, blighting uncertainty, and caustic self-doubt. I aspire to overcome the disfiguring emotional liabilities harvested during my troubled past, develop healthful new habits, and brace myself against the irreducible fact of human mortality.”

AutobiographySelf TransformationPersonal EssaysSelf TranscendenceSelf Questioning
Book:Dead Toad Scrolls
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“Sardine sashimi. It tastes better when you eat it with ginger instead of wasabi." "Look at the shine on that skin! These sardines are fresh!" "They're small but fatty." "And they don't smell fishy at all. As a matter of fact, they have a nice scent." "Marinated sardines. You half-dry the sardine with the backbone still in it, and then marinate it in vinegar. Then you add small amounts of sugar, soy sauce and chopped red chili... ...and leave it in the refrigerator for a day." "Hmm... it feels nice biting into the firm flesh." "The spicy and sour flavor goes well with the fatty sardine." "Fried sardine fish cakes. You mash the sardines after removing the head and the organs, add chopped spring onions, ginger juice and salt for the flavoring... ... then make them into an oval shape and deep-fry them." "It's very crisp, and it must be nutritious since the bones have been mashed inside it too.”

Japanese FoodSardines
Book:Izakaya: Pub Food
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“Ah, chopped horse mackerel." "Yeah, but it's not just an ordinary chopped horse mackerel." "Oh? What?! You're wrapping the chopped horse mackerel in a dumpling skin?! And you're going to deep-fry it?!" "Here you go. Deep-fried chopped horse mackerel dumplings. It's another one of Tatsu's ideas. Eat it with Japanese mustard, ginger and soy sauce." "So this is another one of your creations, Tatsu. Ha ha! That's a pretty wild taste! The chopped mackerel is half raw. And the spicy Japanese mustard and ginger sting your nose and wrap up the flavor of the dumpling!" " Ha ha . Just playing around!" "Playing around, huh..." "Here. Tatsu's special 'Everything Rice.'" "Whoa! It's got so many things on it! Curry, omelet, hayashi-rice, salted cod roe and nori, three slices of deep-fried pork cutlet with demi-glace sauce and stewed offal. Ha ha ha ... this is so sumptuous, it's over the top!" "Heh heh. You know how we homeless people collect leftovers and eat 'em all together, right? Interestingly, they kinda taste better than when ya eat 'em on their own." "I see! You've got a point... this really is a dish that only you could've come up with, Tatsu." "Just playing around!" "Playing around!”

CreativityJapanese FoodPlaying AroundFood CombiningIzakaya
Book:Izakaya: Pub Food
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“This one is skewered guts. It's all the guts except the liver." "It's got that unique texture of a gut, with a slightly bitter taste!" "The flavor of the guts tends to seep out when you make soup with it, but this retains all its refreshing original flavor!" "This is a fin skewer. As you can guess from its name, it's the dorsal fin of the eel... ... wrapped around a skewer with ribs and garlic chives." "This is my favorite one!" "They throw these parts away when they make kabayaki." "Ah! I understand why this is your favorite, Yamaoka-san! The eel and the garlic chives create a rich, savory flavor!" "I never thought eel and garlic chives would go so well together!" "The dorsal fin of a left-eyed flounder is called an engawa, and it's considered a delicacy. It's the most active part of the fish's body, so it's fatty and good to eat." "The same goes for the eel." "This one is the collar. It's the meat around the neck, below the eyes... ... which I cut open and skewered after taking the head off. The head bone is very tough, so this is the only part of the eel I throw away." "Hmm, so it's called the "collar" because it's the area around the neck." "It has a complex flavor to it too. It's totally different from the stomach meat, the guts or the dorsal fin!" "It kind of tastes like a mixture of fish and lamb meat! There are so many other skewers, right?!" "Yahata-maki, which is eel meat wrapped around burdock. Tanzaku, where the meat has been cut like strips of paper. Smoked eel. And of course, we can't forget the famous kabayaki.”

GarlicJapanese FoodEelSkewersSpecializeIzakayaInnards
Book:Izakaya: Pub Food
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