“We're deep into the holiday gift-giving season, as you can tell from the fact that everywhere you look, you see jolly old St. Nick urging you to purchase things, to the point where you want to slug him right in his bowl full of jelly.” WantGivingLooksFactsHumorousSeasonsHolidayBowlsJellyJollySlugsGift Giving Author:Dave Barry
“You should not use your fireplace, because scientists now believe that, contrary to popular opinion, fireplaces actually remove heat from houses. Really, that's what scientists believe. In fact many scientists actually use their fireplaces to cool their houses in the summer. If you visit a scientist's house on a sultry August day, you'll find a cheerful fire roaring on the hearth and the scientist sitting nearby, remarking on how cool he is and drinking heavily.” IfsShouldBelieveHeartFactsUseHouseOpinionFireSummerHumorousSittingScientistDrinkingContraryHeatRemoveCheerfulAugustRoaringPopular OpinionFireplaces Book:All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist Source: All the Dave Barry you could ever want: four classic books in one from America's foremost humorist