“In the States, the best ones I've ever eaten were at Bedford Street Bakery, in Brooklyn." "I heard the pastry chef at Qui raving about that place. The woman who runs it is Kiwi, right?" "Yeah. She bakes these beautiful seasonal pastries. I was there around this time four years ago, and there was one with apricots, crème pâtissière, and toasted almonds, and it was just gorgeous." Her shoulders dropped, and her mouth went slack remembering the pleasure. I pressed myself back into the hard bench to hold off the wave of horniness that crashed over me. Jesus, Kieran, get a grip. "That was a quality Homer Simpson drooling noise," I said. Jokes were safe. Jokes meant I wasn't turned on.” PastryTurned OnBakeryHomer Simpson Book:The Slowest Burn Source: The Slowest Burn
“[Ned Flanders]: Well looks like someone's having a pre-rapture party. [Homer Simpson]: No, Flanders. Its a meeting of gay witches for abortion, you wouldn't be interested.” HumorHomer SimpsonGoreningMatt GroeningSimpson Author:Matt Groening
“You see, Marriage is like a Coffin, and each Kid is another Nail.” Homer Simpson Author:Matt Groening
“There’s three ways to do things. The right way, the wrong way, and the Max Power way! “Isn’t that the wrong way?” “Yeah, but faster.” HumorHomer SimpsonThe SimpsonsMax Power Author:Max Power
“Trying is the first step towards failure". - Homer Simpson” Homer SimpsonSimpsons Author:Homer Simpson
“Why don't those stupid idiots let me in their crappy club for jerks?” ComedyHomerJerksHomer SimpsonSimpsonsHomer Simpson Quotes Author:Homer Simpson
“When will you people learn? In America we stopped using corporal punishment and things have never been better. The streets are safe, old people strut confidently through the darkest alleys and the weak and nerdy are admired for their computer programming abilities. So, like us, let your children run wild and free, for as the old saying goes, 'Let your children run wild and free.” HumorNerdyHomer SimpsonThe Simpsons Author:Homer Simpson