“The drivenness in any addiction is about the ruptured self, the belief that one is flawed as a person. The content of the addiction, whether it is alcoholism or work, is an attempt at an intimate relationship. The workaholic with her work or the alcoholic with his booze are having a love affair. Each alters mood to avoid the feeling of loneliness and hurt in the underbelly of shame.” PersonsSelfFeelingsBeliefHurtLonelinessShameAddictionAffairMoodIntimateFlawedAlcoholismAlcoholicsLove AffairBoozeWorkaholicIntimate Relationships Author:John Bradshaw
“Our relationship with food - how, when, what and why we eat - is a direct expression of our underlying feelings, thoughts and beliefs about ourselves. It has to do with stances we take that get reflected not only in our relationship with food, but in all our relationships. It just so happens that the relationship with food causes enough conflict, grief, shame and hurt that we’re willing to look at it.” LooksEnoughFeelingsHappensBeliefCausesHurtGriefFoodWillingExpressionConflictDirectShameOur RelationshipStance Author:Geneen Roth
“Essentially, if our secrets are secrets because we are told to be ashamed, then we must share them. There is no shame in being sad or struggling or trying to heal. We are all desperate, depraved and sacred. We are all terrible and brillIant. I can list all the things that can make a girl want to escape her own body (re: patriarchy). But I’d rather list all the things that make me want to stay in my body, and adorn it like a home, rub oils into my skin, tell it how sorry I am for trying to leave, for trying to hurt it into submission” IfsWantTryingI CanHomeBodyGirlHurtSecretStruggleShareTerribleSkinsShameSacredSorryOilBrilliantListsHealDesperateAshamedPatriarchySubmissionDepravedBeing Sad Author:Warsan Shire
“Why do we hold onto negativity? For some reason, we believe that others are affected by our experience of remaining upset, hurt or angry. Holding on to pain, anger, guilt or shame is the glue that binds us to the situation we want to escape.” WantBelieveReasonPainHurtSituationExperienceAngerShameAngryGuiltUpsetAffectedNegativityHolding OnGlue Author:Iyanla Vanzant
“Love all men as God, even if they hurt you or shame you. Be like Gandhi and Christ.” IfsMenChristHurtShame Author:Neem Karoli Baba
“If I'm feeling hurt, sad, lonely, depressed, and then I shame myself for feeling that, then that's a black hole for me. I really have worked a lot to meet pain with both gratitude and gentleness.” IfsFeelingsPainBlackHurtGratitudeLonelyShameHolesGentlenessHurt FeelingsBlack Hole Author:Bellamy Young
“You are an American, so you're hurt that other American citizens have been hurt, but you end up having to shoulder the shame for something that you don't even believe. There's a lot of years where Muslims have dealt with having to make themselves very small and not disrupt the flow and not - make sure that you're not noticed because, you know, deep down inside people are not really excited that you're around .” PeopleKnowsYearsBelieveHas BeensEndsHurtCitizensFlowShameExcitedShouldersDeep DownAmerican CitizensBeen Hurt Author:Mahershala Ali