“A humorist tells himself every morning, "I hope it's going to be a rough day." When things are going well, it's much harder to make the right jokes.” WellsMorningJokesHarderRoughEvery MorningHumoristsRough Day Author:Alan Coren
“I would like, with the sun shining through the window on a crisp early-autumnal mid-morning, with a sufficiency of Monster Cappucino flowing in my veins to prompt minimal sentience, to declare my view for the record that Drummer Jokes are a cruel and pernicious form of humour introduced to the world by under-humoured persons lacking in sensitivity and concern for other drummers.” WorldPersonsFormViewsMorningSunRecordsHumourJokesConcernWindowShiningMonstersLackingSensitivityVeinsDrummerPromptsPerniciousCrispsSufficiencyConcern For OthersShining Through Author:Robert Fripp
“If your master is surly, from getting up early (And tempers are short in the morning), An inopportune joke is enough to provoke Him to give you, at once, a month's warning.” IfsGivingEnoughMorningMastersMonthsJokesWarningTemperProvokingUp EarlySurly Book:The Savoy Operas: The Complete Gilbert and Sullivan: The Complete Gilbert and Sullivan Source: The Savoy Operas: The Complete Gilbert and Sullivan: The Complete Gilbert and Sullivan
“If you'd asked me then if I saw how big "The Steve Harvey Morning Show" was going to be, I couldn't tell you. But I knew I could reach people not as a character but as Steve Harvey, because although I tell jokes for a living, I've also lived, and I think I can relate to you more than you know.” PeopleIfsThinkingKnowsI CanCharacterShowsBigsMorningSawsJokesRelateHarvey Author:Steve Harvey
“I try to write three jokes every morning, although I don't know what they are. I write them as fast as I can, then I put them away for a month. So I couldn't even tell you what they are, or if they're good. I just assume they weren't.” IfsKnowsWritingTryingI CanThreeMorningMonthsJokesAssumingEvery Morning Author:Anthony Jeselnik
“If my dog wants to know why I didn't feed him this morning, he may want to rethink walking out of the room when I'm telling him a joke.” IfsKnowsWantMayRoomsMorningDogWalkingJokesMy DogWalking Out Author:Dana Gould
“The place that I worked I used to joke about it. There was a, every morning at 10:30 I'd come into work and I'd go into this cubicle that had a little upright piano and fake white cork bricks on the wall, and a little slate that came out of the wall that you could actually write on. And a door that locked from the outside. Every day from 10 to 6, we'd go in there and pretend that we were 13 year old girls and write these songs. That was the gig.” WritingYearsLittlesUsedSongGirlWhiteMorningDoorsWallJokesPianoFakeLockedEvery MorningBricksGigsSlateCorkCubicles Author:Al Kooper
“My friends joke that I love planning things - which I do - and the reason is because there's so much I want to do, so many things I want to see and experience. If I don't actively pursue these things, I will never do everything I want to do, in life and in my career. That's what gets me up in the morning.” IfsWantReasonCareersMorningJokesMy FriendsPlanningPursuePlanning Things Author:Benjamin Stone
“Brian Posehn went up at 4:45 in the morning. And he gets lost at a certain point. I don't know if we kept him getting lost on the CD. That joke isn't as technically well delivered as I'm sure it is in his Comedy Central special. But the whole disk has this looseness and flavor to it where anything can happen that a lot of people will prefer.” PeopleIfsKnowsWellsWholeHappensCertainLostMorningComedySpecialJokesFlavorCdsBrianAnything Can HappenGetting LostDiskLooseness Author:B. J. Porter
“I don't read all the junk. I joke if I did, I wouldn't get out of bed in the morning. But, Sometimes the comments over the top - really ugly. Many of them are critical of my looks, like the one that criticized my "thunder thighs." I get that a lot. Some of the tweets are too vulgar to repeat.” IfsLooksSometimesMorningBedJokesUglyCriticalRepeatsCommentVulgarThunderJunkTweetThighsOver The Top Author:Gretchen Carlson