“People are kind of upset with British Petroleum CEO Tony Hayward. Over the weekend, he was out on his yacht. And when President Obama found out that Tony Hayward was on his yacht, he was so angry, he missed a putt.” PeopleKindFoundPresidentAngryBritishUpsetPresident ObamaWeekendCeoYachtPetroleum Author:David Letterman
“Over the weekend, of course, down there in Washington, D.C., they had the big White House Correspondents' Dinner. Do you know who was really funny? President Obama. So funny, in fact, he has already been promised 'The Tonight Show' in five years.” KnowsYearsFactsShowsBigsCoursesHousePresidentWhiteFiveDinnerFive YearsTonightWhite HouseDo You KnowPresident ObamaWeekend Author:David Letterman
“There's one reason why [Presidents' Day] is a holiday. It had nothing to do with our country deciding that we wanted to show reverence for our presidents, Lincoln, Washington, or all of them. Nothing to do with that. The ski industry wanted a three-day weekend.” CountryReasonShowsWantedThreePresidentIndustryOur CountryReason WhyHolidayWeekendReverenceSkisPresidents DayPresident Lincoln Author:Rush Limbaugh
“George W. Bush gave a commencement speech at Southern Methodist University this weekend. It was pretty inspirational. He said, 'As I like to tell the 'C' students, you too can be president.' Even George W. Bush has George W. Bush comedy material in his act.” SaidPresidentComedyStudentsMaterialsSpeechUniversitySouthernWeekendCommencementMethodistsCommencement Speech Author:Jimmy Fallon
“This weekend President Obama attended the annual Gridiron Club Dinner, and during his speech he joked that he is getting older and crankier. Which explains why he announced he no longer supports President Obama.” PresidentSupportSpeechClubsDinnerPresident ObamaWeekendGetting OldGetting OlderAnnualsGridiron Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Both President Obama and former President George W. Bush were interviewed on 'Face the Nation' over the weekend. President Bush said there's a 50 percent chance his brother Jeb will run for president in 2016. Then he said, 'But there's an 80 percent chance he won't.'” SaidRunningFacesNationsPresidentChanceBrotherPercentFormerPresident ObamaWeekendPresident BushPresident George W Bush Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Obama wouldn't have been voted president if he weren't black. Somebody asked me over the weekend why does somebody earn a lot of money have a lot of money, because she's black. It was Oprah. No, it can't be. Yes, it is. There's a lot of guilt out there, show we're not racists, we'll make this person wealthy and big and famous and so forth.... If Obama weren't black he'd be a tour guide in Honolulu or he'd be teaching Saul Alinsky constitutional law or lecturing on it in Chicago.” IfsPersonsDoeHas BeensShowsBigsLawBlackPresidentTeachingStupidGuiltGuidesRacistWealthyChicagoWeekendLots Of MoneyHatefulConstitutional LawLecturingHonoluluTour Guides Author:Rush Limbaugh
“Three times a year, theres Strategicon convention, and I go for the board games. It happens Presidents Day, Labor Day, and Memorial Day weekends. You go and take a look at the new board games and meet a couple of board game designers, and you can check out games you dont own from the library and then return them.” YearsLooksHappensThreeGamesPresidentReturnCoupleLaborLibraryChecksBoardsDesignerWeekendConventionsThree TimesMemorialMemorial DayLabor DayPresidents DayBoard GamesMemorial Day Weekend Author:Rich Sommer
“Democratic presidential candidate John Kerry came down pretty hard on fellow candidate Howard Dean this weekend. After Dean misspoke several times, Kerry said you can't misspeak 15 times in a week and be president. And Bush said, 'You can't'?” SaidHardPresidentWeekFellowsDemocraticPresidentialCandidatesWeekendDeanJohn KerryPresidential Candidate Author:Jay Leno
“President Bush fell off his bicycle this weekend and you know what was really sad? It's a stationary bike.” KnowsPresidentWeekendBikePresident BushBicycleReally SadStationary Author:Jay Leno
“With Iraq plunging into chaos and gas prices at record highs President Bush took time out this weekend for a ride on his bicycle, but unfortunately he fell off and sustained cuts to his face and hands. Apparently Bush was distracted by the enormous responsibilities of the presidency. I'm just kidding. He hit some gravel or something.” HandsFacesPresidentResponsibilityRecordsCuttingChaosIraqEnormousGasWeekendPresidencyDistractedPresident BushBicycleGravelGas PricesJust Kids Author:Craig Kilborn
“The President and first lady did hold a private party at the White House over the weekend, but given the private nature of that event, I don't have a lot of details to discuss from here.” FirstsHouseGivenPresidentNatureWhitePartyEventsDetailsWhite HouseWeekendFirst LadyPrivate Parts Author:Josh Earnest
“I was with - he wasn't the president then, but - Barack Obama, when he was running, in Washington, during Black Congressional Caucus Weekend, and did a panel about global warming with him. It was almost as if I switched careers for a while, and became a political activist.” IfsRunningPoliticalBlackPresidentCareersBarackGlobal WarmingActivistWeekendCaucus Author:Lawrence Bender