“Today was the annual Easter egg roll on the White House lawn. Usually when you see something rolling on the White House lawn it's a drunk Secret Service agent.” TodayHouseWhiteSecretDrunkAgentsEggsWhite HouseRollingEasterLawnsAnnualsSecret ServiceEaster EggEgg Rolls Author:Conan O'Brien
“The prime minister of Ireland will be celebrating St. Patrick's Day at the White House. So finally the Secret Service agents will have a drinking buddy.” HouseWhiteSecretDrinkingCelebrateAgentsMinistersWhite HousePrimeIrelandPrime MinisterBuddySecret ServiceSt PatrickSt Patrick's DayDrinking Buddy Author:Conan O'Brien
“President Obama has appointed a new head of the Secret Service. The new Secret Service director was so excited that he jumped over the White House fence for joy.” JoyHousePresidentWhiteSecretDirectorsExcitedWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceSecret Service Author:Conan O'Brien
“The Secret Service said there have been 40 fence-jumping incidents at the White House in the past five years. Half of them were intruders trying to get in. The other half was President Obama trying to get out.” TryingYearsHas BeensSaidPastHousePresidentWhiteSecretHalfFiveFive YearsWhite HousePresident ObamaFenceJumpingIncidentsOther HalfSecret ServiceIntruders Author:Conan O'Brien
“Some Secret Service guys crashed a car into the White House. And they had been drinking when it happened. Actually, they hit a barrier trying to get to the White House. It's the same thing that is happening to Hillary.” TryingGuyHouseWhiteSecretHappenedCarHappeningsDrinkingBarriersWhite HouseSecret Service Author:David Letterman
“The White House encouraged Tom Brady to be more of a role model. They would've said more, but there was a drunken Secret Service agent streaking across the Rose Garden.” SaidHouseWhiteSecretRolesModelsGardenRoseAgentsWhite HouseRole ModelsTomsSecret ServiceBradyRose Garden Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The acting director of the Secret Service, Joseph Clancy, said they may make the fence around the White House taller because of the recent security failures. When asked if he had any other ideas, he said, 'Uh, make the sidewalk lower?'” IfsMaySaidIdeasHouseWhiteActingSecretSecurityDirectorsWhite HouseFenceSidewalkSecret Service Author:Jimmy Fallon
“President Obama spent Election Day away from any press coverage, attending closed-door meetings inside the White House. But on the bright side, it is nice to see some doors actually closed at the White House. It's a whole new Secret Service security thing.” WholeHouseSidesPresidentWhiteSecretNiceDoorsSecurityElectionPressesMeetingsWhite HousePresident ObamaCoverageAttendingClosed DoorsElection DayBright SideSecret Service Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Once the day's work starts there is little chance to walk, to ride or to take part in a game. Taking walks or rides early in the morning is a lonesome business, and the inevitable Secret Service guard when the president leaves the White House grounds is not enlivening company.” LittlesGamesHousePresidentChanceWhiteWalksSecretCompanyMorningInevitableWhite HouseLonesomeSecret Service Book:Memoirs: The Cabinet and the Presidency, 1920-1933 Source: Memoirs: The Cabinet and the Presidency, 1920-1933
“Secret Service agents detained an Iowa man with a gun who happened to be walking in a Des Moines park where President Bush was jogging. Were they out of their minds? White guys with guns put Bush in the White House.” MenMindGuyHousePresidentWhiteSecretHappenedWalkingGunAgentsParksWhite HousePresident BushIowaJoggingWhite GuysSecret ServiceDes Moines Author:Argus Hamilton