“When I'm on stage, I'm not me playing me. I'm somebody else doing me. I could never go on stage and be like, "Hey, I'm Mike Tyson. My mother and father was in the sex industry." That's the politically correct way to say it, but I would really say, "My mother and father were pimps and whores. This is my life." I could never do that as Mike Tyson. Because I'd feel sorry for myself. But if I could be objective about it and be somebody else, portraying Mike Tyson, saying this story, then it's easy sailing.” IfsWayFeelsStoriesMotherFatherSexEasyStageGoes OnIndustrySorryObjectivesHeyIf I CouldSailingMikeMother And FatherPolitically CorrectTysonPortrayingDoing MePimp Author:Mike Tyson
“When you're more mature, you do start telling the truth, in odd situations. "I'm sorry, I've broken a glass here. Is that expensive? I'll pay for it. I'm sorry." And you do that so that people in the room might go, "What a strong personality that person has. I like to have sex with people with strong personalities."” PeoplePersonsMightStrongSexRoomsPaySituationBrokenPersonalitySorryGlassesOddExpensiveTelling The TruthMatureI'm SorryStrong PersonStrong Personality Author:Eddie Izzard
“I was sorry to see the News of the World go down, I think it was a great campaigning newspaper. Who can forget the News of the World's high profile campaign against child sex offenders which led to News of the World readers burning down the home of a paediatrician, throwing rocks at a pedalo, stamping on a centipede.” ThinkingWorldChildrenHomeSexForgetRocksReaderNewsSorryCampaignsNewspapersBurningThrowingProfileOffendersCampaigningHigh ProfileSex OffendersBurning DownCentipedesThrowing Rocks Author:Stewart Lee
“I sort of feel sorry for gays being the last ones at the sexual revolution window. We've had liberalizing rules on divorce. We've had the sexual revolution. We've had, you know, the pill, and burning bras and rampant premarital sex and polymorphous perversity.” KnowsFeelsLastsSexRevolutionGayWindowSorryDivorceBurningPillsBrasPerversitySexual Revolution Author:Ann Coulter
“I haven't had sex in two and a half years. A guy I met in San Francisco gave me a sympathy blow job. It didn't really work. I said, "You're just doing this 'cause you feel sorry for me." We stopped in the middle.” FeelsYearsSaidTwoJobsGuySexCausesHalfMiddleHavensMetsSorryBlowSan FranciscoHalf A YearBlow Job Author:Kevin Sessums