“(at the police station pantry) There’s a large tub of instant coffee on top of a humming fridge, plus a microwave that doesn’t look as if it’s been cleaned since the millennium bug was a thing. A page of A4 has been taped to the fridge with, STOP STEALING MY MILK, YA THIEVING SHITES written in large capital letters. Zoe asks if I want a tea, then sets a kettle boiling as we sit around a small table. Zoe nods along as the kettle clicks off. She raids the cupboard for a pair of teabags from a giant PG Tips box, then drops one in each of two mugs, before filling. Milk comes from the fridge, although it’s unclear if this is of the ‘thieving shites’ variety, and then Zoe sits across from me.” HumourTeaMilkFunny QuotesFridgeShite Book:The Tapes Source: The Tapes
“Shite and onions!” HeartDistressModernismGraveyardOnionsJoyceUlyssesShiteDedalusIncubism Book:Ulysses Source: Ulysses
“In the village there was a man whose job it was to clear up all the shit from the holes in the ground. He used to collect it in a big copper pan and walk off with it balanced on his head. Proud that he’s got a job. All the kids run behind him and dance in front of him shouting, “Shithead! Shithead!” and laughing those little African laughs. Whenever he gets a chance he puts his hand in the shit pan on his head and flicks shit at them. They all run away laughing, but apparently, he’s quite a good aim, occasionally catching a kid right in the face with shit. This, apparently, is a daily occurrence, and I thought it was quite a good story.” ShitGhanaShittingShiteShit Quotes Book:Gunpowder Soup Source: Gunpowder Soup
“All right, funny man. Some of the shite I've seen in the last couple o' years makes AIDS monkeys sound downright sensible.” AidsSensibleMonkeysShiteAids Monkeys Book:The Boys, Volume 9: The Big Ride Source: The Boys, Volume 9: The Big Ride