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Tasers Quotes

Browse 13 quotes about Tasers.

Tasers Quotes

“Collaborators let down their guards. Successful collaborators still carry a taser.”

Careful Collaboration Collaborators Guard Tasers Taser

Author:Ryan Lilly

“You go into this survival instinct mode, when you feel like your life is in jeopardy. I found myself in the bathroom with my taser, which I have 10 of, my panic button and my cell phone. It was the most terrifying experience I've ever had in my life”

Feels Life Is Found Like You Survival Instinct Phones Cells Panic Buttons Bathroom Cell Phone Survival Instinct Jeopardy Tasers

Author:Emma Roberts

“Things have been invented because of alcohol. Like the taser, okay? Yeah! The morning after pill, okay? The reach-around. Judge Judy. What has pot given the world? Hackey sack? YEAH! Hilarious ring tones? OH GAH! Ultimate Frisbee Championships? It sucks to be a champion at a sport that can't get you laid. It's an unneeded skill like, I dunno, being the best banjo player. Or a squirter.”

“Angie, I've seen my mom wrestle two cops to the ground with a taser dart in her neck, and you cry when your shoes pinch. Good luck, Bambi!”

Two Humor Funny Cry Mom Luck Shoes My Mom Necks Cop Good Luck Tasers

Author:George Lopez

“Read your work out loud. Don't give me that look. Read your work aloud. Don't argue. Don't fight. It will help. I promise. I promise. I guarantee it. If you find it didn't help you, lemme know. I will let you Taser me in the face. And by "me," I mean, some other guy who will be my stand-in. Probably some real estate agent or tollbooth attendant.”

Ifs Knows Giving Writing Looks Mean Real Helping Faces Guy Fighting Promise Give Me Work Out Arguing Agents Loud Guarantees Estates I Promise Other Guys Estate Agents Tasers

Author:Chuck Wendig

“I'm a professional at what I do. As a police officer you're a professional at what you're supposed to do. You should know your equipment well. You should know the difference between a taser and a handgun.”

Knows Should Wells Differences Police Officers Equipment Police Officer Handguns Tasers

Author:Michael B. Jordan

“So this Zealot comes to my door, all glazed eyes and clean reproductive organs, asking me if I ever think about God. So I tell him I killed God. I tracked God down like a rabid dog, hacked off his legs with a hedge trimmer, raped him with a corncob, and boiled off his corpse in an acid bath. So he pulls an alternating-current taser on me and tells me that only the Official Serbian Church of Tesla can save my polyphase intrinsic electric field, known to non-engineers as "the soul." So I hit him. What would you do?”

Ifs Thinking Soul Eye Church Known Doors Dog Fields Asking Clean Currents Legs Officials Organs Engineers Electric Baths Corpses Acid Hacked Tesla Zealot Tasers

Author:Warren Ellis

“Do y’all have enough stun guns for them? (Madaug) Does a bear defecate rurally? What kind of question is that for someone who owns the biggest gun store in town? Of course I got plenty. I got enough Tasers to light up New York City AND Boston just for giggles. (Bubba)”

Kind Doe Enough Light Courses Cities New York Bears Gun Towns Stores Plenty New York City Boston Light Up Giggle Bubba Tasers

Book:Chronicles of Nick

Source: Chronicles of Nick

“It's a hard thing to hold a civil conversation after recalling that one party has used a Taser on the other, so both of them finished the walk in silence.”

Hard Used Walks Party Silence Conversation Finished Hard Things Tasers

Author:Maggie Stiefvater

“Since killing people is illegal, can I have a Taser just for shits and giggles? -Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet”

People Feet Killing Graves Illegal Fourth Giggle Tasers

Author:Darynda Jones

“I brought out the most powerful tool I had in my arsenal. "If you resist," I said into Reyes's ear, "I'll be forced to Taser you." He looked at what I had in my hand. "That's a phone." "I have an app. You'll probably experience nerve damage. Slight memory loss.”

Ifs Said Hands Memories Loss Powerful Tools Ears Phones Damage Most Powerful Nerves Arsenal Apps Memory Loss Tasers

Author:Darynda Jones

“I once got hit with a taser at a concert and everyone thought I was dancing. Now I have to do that dance, at every show for the rest of my life, or admit that a taser can damage the Thom Yorke”

Shows Dancing Damage Concerts Tasers

Author:Thom Yorke

“I am the neurological opposite of a psychopath, in that I feel anxious almost all the time. It must be great to not constantly feel like you’ve got someone living inside your face, shooting you with a mini Taser.”

Feels Faces Like You Opposites Shooting Your Face Anxious Psychopath Tasers

Author:Jon Ronson