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Wife Quotes

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Wife Quotes

“I tell ya, my wife's a lousy cook. After dinner, I don't brush my teeth. I count them.”

Wife Dinner My Wife Teeth Cooks Brushes

Author:Rodney Dangerfield

“If only one tooth aches, rejoice that not all of them ache.... If your wife betrays you, be glad that she betrayed only you and not the nation.”

Ifs Nations Wife Glad Teeth Rejoice Betray Betrayed Ache

Author:Anton Chekhov

“Sarah lied about me. I never made the offer which she said I did. I will not advise you to break up your family - unless it were asked of me. Then I would council you to get a bill from your wife and marry a virtuous woman - and a new family but if you do not do it I shall never throw it in your teeth.”

Ifs Made Said Break Wife Offers Bills Teeth Our Family Virtuous Council Advise Lied Polygamy Virtuous Woman New Family

Author:Joseph Smith, Jr.

“The husband was a teetotaller, there was no other woman, and the conduct complained of was that he had drifted into the habit of winding up every meal by taking out his false teeth and hurling them at his wife.”

Wife Habit Husband Teeth Meals Hurling Winding Up

Book:The Adventures and the Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

Source: The Adventures and the Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

“I'm going out with these old guys. One guy gave me a hickey and left his teeth in my neck. Another man, we were having a perfectly lovely dinner; he looked up and me and went: You're not my wife! Another guy died during dinner. I had to go in his pocket to get the American Express card. Then you wonder: What would he tip? Another guy said: I want you to meet my family, and took me to the cemetery.”

Men Want Said Guy Left Wonder Wife My Family Died Dinner My Wife Lovely Teeth Cards Necks Pockets I Want You Going Out Another Man Other Guys Cemetery Old Guys American Express

Author:Joan Rivers

“My wife has teeth like the stars... they come out at night.”

Night Stars Wife My Wife Teeth

Author:Rodney Dangerfield