“Several years ago my dear wife went to the hospital. She left a note behind for the children: "Dear children, do not let Daddy touch the microwave" - followed by a comma, "or the stove, or the dishwasher, or the dryer." I'm embarrassed to add any more to that list.” YearsChildrenLeftBehindsWifeYears AgoAddNotesDearListsHospitalsEmbarrassedDaddyStovesMicrowavesDishwashersDryers Author:Thomas S. Monson
“A few years ago one of my wives, when talking about wives leaving their husbands said, 'I wish my husband's wives would leave him, every soul of them except myself.' That is the way they all feel, more or less, at times, both old and young.” WayFeelsYearsSaidSoulYoungWishTalkingWifeHusbandYears AgoLeavingMy WifeMy HusbandPolygamy Author:Brigham Young
“There's no such thing as post-feminism. It's like saying post-democracy, excuse me, what does that mean? We're nowhere near equality, so the very idea of post-feminism is ridiculous. The same people who 30-40 years ago said the women's movement is not necessary, 'it's going against nature, my wife is not interested' [are] the same people now saying 'well it used to be necessary but not anymore.' The very invention of the word post-feminism is the current form of resistance.” PeopleYearsWellsMeanDoeSaidIdeasFormUsedDemocracyWifeFeminismMovementYears AgoCurrentsExcuseMy WifeRidiculousInventionResistanceUsed To BePostsNot InterestedExcuse Me Author:Gloria Steinem
“I think it can be hard for any man to sometimes be upstaged by his wife. So when I'm home, I work very hard to be Todd's wife and Jade's mother. I have no problem going back to those traditional roles. I try to be Giada, the young girl that he met 20 years ago and fell in love with.” ThinkingMenTryingYearsSometimesHardProblemHomeYoungMotherGirlRolesWifeMetsYears AgoTraditionalNo ProblemJade Author:Giada De Laurentiis
“I fell in love with my wife twenty years ago. I am only now, it seems, getting it through my very thick skull how lucky I am.” YearsSeemsWifeLuckyYears AgoTwentiesMy WifeThickSkulls Author:Richard Schiff
“What women look for in a man: Breathing, IQ over 80, weight under 550 pounds, fewer than six ex-wives. What men look for in a woman: Pia Zadora as she was ten years ago.” MenYearsLooksWomenWifeTenSixYears AgoWeightBreathingPoundsFewerExesEx Wife Author:Cathy Crimmins
“Years ago I met Richard Burton in Port Talbot, my home town, and afterwards he passed in his car with his wife, and I thought, 'I want to get out and become like him'. Not because of Wales, because I love Wales, but because I was so limited as a child at school and so bereft and lonely, and I thought becoming an actor would do that.” WantYearsChildrenHomeSchoolActorsWifeCarBecomingMetsYears AgoLonelyTownsPortWalesHopkinsBereftHome Town Author:Anthony Hopkins
“I absolutely love being back in Nebraska and I love that my wife is able to experience a lot of the great things that made me love this place years ago. The lifestyle, the people.” PeopleYearsMadeAbleLove IsWifeYears AgoMy WifeLifestyleGreat ThingsNebraska Author:Jason Peter
“Eight years ago, I was a waiter, and I didn't have a pot to piss in. And now...? It's like I said to my wife: I love the fact that, if I was in a restaurant and Steven Spielberg walked in, I could go up to him and say, 'Hey, mate, how are you?' I think that's pretty amazing, actually.” IfsThinkingYearsSaidFactsWifeYears AgoEightMy WifeHeyRestaurantsPotMatesWaiter Author:Nick Frost
“I remember a few years ago I was sitting at home with my wife watching the Oscars. I was sitting on the couch and suddenly heard my voice. It's thrilling. It's interesting that a lot of guys do me. I have a friend who does me on his answering machine so when I call him I talk to myself. I don't really know what that comes from. It doesn't seem to me that I speak in a strange way. My wife says Kevin's (Spacey) the best.” KnowsWayYearsDoeHomeSeemsRememberGuySpeakVoiceInterestingWifeHeardStrangeSittingYears AgoMachinesMy WifeOscarsThrillingCouchesKevinAnswering Machines Author:Christopher Walken
“Normal people, fear the day their parents die. Screwed up people, fear that their parents are going to live forever. Showing up at your house at weird hours of the night, smelling all funny, with a bunch of their friends. Hey boy, this is Harold, Cecil and Dicky. Dicky lost his wife about a year ago. I hear Erin made cookies. Where can I put my shoes ? If that doesn't scare you, you're not human.” PeopleIfsYearsHumansMadeNightDiesHouseLostParentHoursBoysForeverWifeNormalYears AgoShoesBunchHeyScareCookiesLive ForeverShowing UpScrewed UpErin Author:Christopher Titus