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Abdul Karim Bakkar Biography

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“How can dialogue be fruitful? The answer to this question is the most important thing in this treatise because many of us now realise that a new method must be employed in training children and interacting with them. Many now believe more in holding consultations in family life, and in dialogues and negotiations; but because they lack proper knowledge and expertise regarding the principles and morals to be observed in doing this, their attempts at holding dialogue often end with quarrels, arguments and divergence of views. This is why you would all recall many situations in which the wisest person in a family would say, “I hope we do not discuss this topic any further for now, so that nerves are not frayed or we end up disagreeing and each one of us gets up and goes into his room.”

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“Dialogue is the interaction of souls before it can be the interaction of brains. And dialogue within a family is much more difficult than that between two mates at school or two men negotiating a business transaction. The reasons for this difficulty are many, among which is the fact that the home is a place for spontaneous behavior where the parties to the dialogue know one another very well with each one having formed what appears to be the final opinion about every other person. The father knows his son’s aspirations as well as his weak points, and having tried unsuccessfully to help him several times before now, he cannot see why he should dialogue with him. The mother also thinks that her husband has passed a decree on a matter, and knowing him well that he does not reverse his decisions easily, she thinks that dialogue with him will only raise tension and bring no benefit.”

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“When family members sit down to dialogue, it is important for them to make their first goal, which is to strengthen the noble feeling of love that they mutually share, and to improve the connection of souls that binds them. This is most important for the success of the dialogue, and only next to it comes the problem for which the dialogue is being held. What this means is to emphasize the fact, rather than making the achievement of specific results the goal of the sitting. What is more worthy of focus is improving the bond between members of the family, fostering their mutual compassion and the degree of their mutual trust.”

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“A certain mother noticed that her ten year old daughter had a driving desire to take possession of everything – to the extent of using lies to claim something that does not belong to her; and besides that, she noticed that her seven year old son would crush an ant or any other insect cruelly and brutally with his foot – as if he were taking revenge on those weak creatures! To deal with these problems, the mother went to a library and borrowed some stories focusing on generosity and helpfulness, and on kindness to animals. The outcome of this is described by the mother in these words, "The story which left the deepest effect on the children's consciousness was that of 'The Blind Cat', which is about a cat which lost her vision during pregnancy; and when she delivered her kittens she had to face the problem of how to care for them, and how to keep them near her." Then she adds, "More than ten times I told this story to my children; and every time one or more of them wept at hearing it. Then one said, in perfect innocence, 'Mom, why don't you bring this cat to our home, so that we help her care for her kittens?”

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“Reading can play the part of rescuing children who live the wretched life of extreme poverty – a life of deprivation kills children's ambition, so that they accept whatever comes their way. And here comes the part of reading, for it helps the children escape from their confined space and difficult time to unbounded space and stimulates them to extend their vision until it coextends with all history. Reading is in this case not a component of life – it is life! Indeed, poor and illiterate families' children need reading more than other children, so that they do not fall a prey to desperation, hopelessness, and narrow-mindedness.”

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Book:A Child Reads
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