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On Love

Book by Alain de Botton · 39 quotes · Love, Men, On Love

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On Love Quotes

“there's a bluebird in my heart that wants to get out but I'm too clever, I only let him out at night sometimes when everybody's asleep. I say, I know that you're there, so don't be sad. then I put him back, but he's singing a little in there, I haven't quite let him die and we sleep together like that with our secret pact and it's nice enough to make a man weep, but I don't weep, do you?”

“That moment - to this ... may be years in the way they measure, but it's only one sentence back in my mind - there are so many days when living stops and pulls up and sits and waits like a train on the rails. I pass the hotel at 8 and at 5; there are cats in the alleys and bottles and bums, and I look up at the window and think, I no longer know where you are, and I walk on and wonder where the living goes when it stops.”

“We fall in love because we long to escape from ourselves with someone as beautiful, intelligent, and witty as we are ugly, stupid, and dull. But what if such a perfect being should one day turn around and decide they will love us back? We can only be somewhat shocked-how can they be as wonderful as we had hoped when they have the bad taste to approve of someone like us?”

“Η τελειότητα ενέχει κάτι σαν τυραννία, ίσως και κάτι εξουθενωτικό, αρνείται στο θεατή ένα ρόλο στη δημιουργία της και επιβάλλεται με το δογματισμό απερίφραστης δήλωσης. Μα η αληθινή ομορφιά δεν είναι μετρήσιμη, έχει διακυμάνσεις, είναι ορατή από λίγες μόνο γωνίες, και πάλι όχι με κάθε φωτισμό ούτε κάθε στιγμή. Ερωτοτροπεί επικίνδυνα με την ασχήμια, διακινδυνεύει να εκτεθεί, δε συνάδει βολικά με μαθηματικούς τύπους περί αναλογιών, αντλεί τη γοητεία της από στοιχεία που υπηρετούν εξίσου την ασχήμια. Ίσως είναι αναγκαίο η ομορφιά να ρισκάρει προμελετημένα με λίγη ασχήμια.”

“Once a partner has begun to lose interest, there is apparently little the other can do to arrest the process. Like seduction, withdrawal suffers under a blanket of reticence. The very breakdown of communication is hard to discuss, unless both parties have a desire to see it restored. This leaves the lover in a desperate situation. Honest dialogue seems to produce only irritation and smothers love in the attempt to revive it. Desperate to woo the partner back at any cost, the lover might at this point be tempted to turn to romantic terrorism, the product of irredeemable situations, a gamut of tricks (sulking, jealousy, guilt) that attempt to force the partner to return love, by blowing up (in fits of tears, rage or otherwise) in front of the loved one. The terroristic partner knows he cannot realistically hope to see his love reciprocated, but the futility of something is not always (in love or in politics) a sufficient argument against it. Certain things are said not because they will be heard, but because it is important to speak.”

“I can't understand people who don't like chocolate. I was once going out with a guy, this guy Robert I was telling you about, and I was never really comfortable with him, but I couldn't work out why. Then one day it all became clear: he didn't like chocolate. I mean he didn't just not love it, this guy actually hated it. You could have put a bar in front of him and he wouldn't have touched it. That kind of thinking is so far removed from anything I can relate to, you know. Well, after that, you can imagine, it was clear we had to break up.”

“Perfecțiunea exercită o anume tiranie, aproape o epuizare, ceva care neagă privitorului un rol în propria creație și care se impune cu tot dogmatismul unei afirmații lipsite de ambiguitate. Adevărata frumusețe nu poate fi măsurată pentru că fluctuează, exostă numai câteva unghiuri din care poate fi văzută și nici atunci în orice luminp și în orice moment. Flirtează periculos cu urâțenia, își asumă riscuri, nu se aliniază confortabil cu regulile matematice ale proporției și este atrăgătoare tocmai prin acele aspecte care se pretează la urâțenie.”