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Beverly Engel

Beverly Engel Quotes

Psychotherapist

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Famous Beverly Engel Quotes

“Because women tend to turn their anger inward and blame themselves, they tend to become depressed and their self-esteem is lowered. This, in turn, causes them to become more dependent and less willing to risk rejection or abandonment if they were to stand up for themselves by asserting their will, their opinions, or their needs. Men often defend themselves against hurt by putting up a wall of nonchalant indifference. This appearance of independence often adds to a woman's fear of rejection, causing her to want to reach out to achieve comfort and reconciliation. Giving in, taking the blame, and losing herself more in the relationship seem to be a small price to pay for the acceptance and love of her partner. As you can see, both extremes anger in and anger out-create potential problems. While neither sex is wrong in the way they deal with their anger, each could benefit from observing how the other sex copes with their anger. Most men, especially abusive ones, could benefit from learning to contain their anger more instead of automatically striking back, and could use the rather female ability to empathise with others and seek diplomatic resolutions to problems. Many women, on the other hand, could benefit from acknowledging their anger and giving themselves permission to act it out in constructive ways instead of automatically talking themselves out of it, blaming themselves, or allowing a man to blame them. Instead of giving in to keep the peace, it would be far healthier for most women to stand up for their needs, their opinions, and their beliefs.”

Self EsteemAngerRejectionReconciliationAnger ManagementRelationship ProblemsCoping MechanismFear Of Abandonment
Book:The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
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“Strong Women never put their safety or their self-esteem aside to please someone else or to keep a man. If someone acts inappropriately or abusively in any way (including becoming emotionally abusive), Strong Women stand up for themselves and make it abundantly clear that they will not tolerate the abuse. If this doesn't work, they walk away.”

IfsMenWaySelfStrongWalksClearSelf EsteemBecomingPleaseAbuseSafetyIncludingEsteemBeing YourselfTolerateStrong WomenAbusive
Book:AARP The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused--and Start Standing Up for Yourself
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“With emotional abuse, the insults, insinuations, criticism, and accusations slowly eat away at the victim’s self-esteem until he or she is incapable of judging a situation realistically. He or she may begin to believe that there is something wrong with them or even fear they are losing their mind. They have become so beaten down emotionally that they blame themselves for the abuse.”

MindBelieveMaySelfSituationSelf EsteemEmotionalJudgingLosingCriticismAbuseVictimBlameEsteemInsultIncapableBeatenEmotional AbuseAccusation
Author:Beverly Engel
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