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Beverly Engel

Beverly Engel Quotes

Psychotherapist

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Famous Beverly Engel Quotes

“Most survivors tend to be the care-giver rather than the care-receiver. We tend to be good at being spouses and parents, anticipating our loved ones needs, going the second mile when it came to self sacrifice. But seldom can we ask our loved ones to give to us. We fool ourselves into believing we don’t need much.”

Self SacrificeAbuse SurvivorsExtra MileChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorsAccepting HelpSelf Sacrifice QuotesCare GiverCare TakingOver Responsibility
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
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“Some Survivors get angry at having to work at recovering from sexual abuse. They feel that it is unfair. They suffered all their life because of what someone else did to them: why do they have to suffer any more pain? This anger of “having” to do something is similar to the anger they felt at “having” to put up with the abuse.”

HealingAngerChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsHealing From Abuse
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
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“You can avoid the issues from abuse for only so long. Sooner or later, the problems in your life cause you to either face it or go deeper into denial. Most of you will eventually be forced into admitting that it is indeed the sexual abuse that is the root of your problems. Even then, the tendency will be to ‘forgive and forget’ in the belief that by doing so the pain will be assuaged.”

Sexual AbuseChild Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsSurvivors Of Abuse
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
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“Because of dissociation, many victims are able to remember the abuse only when a certain object, smell, color, scene, or experience triggers a sudden, severe reaction. During a flashback one seems to see, feel, hear, smell, or taste something from the past as if it were actually happening in the present. In a visual flashback, you actually see the scene of your abuse, or you may see an object or image that reminds you or is symbolic of your abuse.”

PtsdTriggersDissociationAbuse SurvivorsDissociativeFlashbacksReliving The Past
Author:Beverly Engel
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“Some Survivors think that getting angry is inappropriate and a sign that a person is out of control. Others are afraid of anger, that of others, as well as their own. They are afraid that if they get angry, they will be rejected or abandoned, afraid they will lose control and hurt someone. But, allowing yourself to get angry and express your anger in constructive ways is one of the most healthy and empowering things you can do.”

AngerAbuse SurvivorsSurvivors Of AbuseFear Of RejectionFear Of AbandonmentHealthy EmotionsConstructive Action
Book:The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- And Start Standing Up for Yourself
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“It is not okay to ‘live and let live,’ to let ‘bygones be bygones,’ to ‘forgive and forget,’ to let the ‘past be the past’ or any of the other clichés your family and friends will try to persuade you to forget about what happened and to move on. Try not to accept these messages.”

Abuse SurvivorsSurvivorsHealing InsightsSociety DenialForgive And ForgetLive And Let LiveChild Abuse SurvivorChild Abuse DeniersLet Bygones Be BygonesForgive And Let GoLet The Past Stay In The Past
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
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“There came a time in my life when I had to admit to myself that I have some very clear narcissistic tendencies. Ironically, it occurred during the writing of my book The Emotionally Abused Woman. As I listed the symptoms of narcissism, I was amazed to find that I recognized myself in the description of the disorder. It should have been no surprise to me because I come from a long line of narcissists. My mother and several of her brothers suffered from the disorder, as did her mother. For some reason, though, I imagined that I’d escaped our family curse. I should have known that it’s not that easy to.”

Self RealizationNarcissismNarcissisticAbuse SurvivorsNarcissistHealing JourneySelf RealisationAbusive RelationshipsNarcissistsPersonality DisordersPersonality DisorderNarcissistic MothersNarcissistic PersonalityNarcissistic Abusers
Book:The Jekyll and Hyde Syndrome: What to Do If Someone in Your Life Has a Dual Personality - or If You Do
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“Begin to nurture yourself…Some grew up expecting their romantic partners to give them the nurturing they hungered for, only to be disappointed. But our partners are not our parents, no matter how much we try to make them into parents. No one can make up for the deprivation you experienced, and no one should be expected to.”

Abuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsChild Abuse SurvivorsUnmet NeedsParenting Yourself
Book:The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
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“If you carry around a lot of suppressed or repressed anger (anger you have unconsciously buried) you may lash out at people, blaming or punishing them for something someone else did a long time ago. Because you were unwilling or unable to express how you felt in the past, you may overreact in the present, damaging a relationship.”

AngerPtsdAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsSurvivors Of AbuseRepressed EmotionsSuppressed AngerLash OutSurvivors Abuse Survivors Rage
Book:The Nice Girl Syndrome: Stop Being Manipulated and Abused -- And Start Standing Up for Yourself
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