Quotessence
Home / Topics / Child Abuse Survivors Quotes

Child Abuse Survivors Quotes

Browse 35 quotes about Child Abuse Survivors.

Child Abuse Survivors Quotes

“The fear of abandonment forced me to comply as a child, but I’m not forced to comply anymore. The key people in my life did reject me for telling the truth about my abuse, but I’m not alone. Even if the consequence for telling the truth is rejection from everyone I know, that’s not the same death threat that it was when I was a child. I’m a self-sufficient adult and abandonment no longer means the end of my life.”

Moving OnChild AbuseFear Of DeathAbandonmentChild Sexual AbuseSurvivorsSelf SufficiencyIncestDysfunctional FamilyChildhood AbuseDysfunctional FamiliesAbusive ParentsChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorChild Abuse SurvivorChildhood Sexual AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsFear Of RejectionControlling ParentsAbuse DeniersTelling Your StoryAbandonment IssuesRevealing The TruthAbused ChildFear Of AbandonmentAbusive FamilyFamily AbuseAccepting The PastEscaping AbuseJust TellConsequences Of CrueltyTruth About AbuseDisclosing Abuse
Book:The Rescued Soul: The Writing Journey for the Healing of Incest and Family Betrayal
Create image

“We must know something about malevolence, about how to recognize it, and about how not to make excuses for it. We must know that we cannot expect fair play. That is, perhaps, most crucial of all. Those of us who practice in this field must face the implications of the fact that we are dealing with sexual abuse. Child sex offenders-people who exploit children’s bodies and betray their trust-are not going to hesitate to lie outright. This is obvious but nonetheless frequently seems to catch people by surprise. Confessions of a Whistle-Blower: Lessons Learned Author: Anna C. Salter. Ethics & Behavior, Volume 8, Issue 2 June 1998”

LyingCourtInjusticeDefenseDeceptionMoralsUnfairImmoralLiedChild Sexual AbuseIncestLiarAbusersProsecutionTrialPerjuryChild Abuse SurvivorsRapistsPedophile ProtectorsExpert WitnessDefense Witness
Author:Anna Salter
Create image

“Because we were treated neglectfully and abusively in our young years—when we most needed self-love to be mirrored—it was difficult to hold onto…We take up the challenge of learning to love ourselves, through our highs & our lows, when we are finding acceptance from others and when we are being closed out and rejected.”

HealingSelf LoveNeglectSelf AcceptanceLove YourselfChild AbuseEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsSelf Love QuotesHealing InsightsHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsEmotional NeglectChild Neglect
Book:Beyond Survival: A Writing Journey for Healing Childhood Sexual Abuse
Create image

“All people cross the line from childhood to adulthood with a secondhand opinion of who they are. Without any questioning, we take as truth whatever our parents and other influentials have said about us during our childhood, whether these messages are communicated verbally, physically, or silently.”

HealingInfluenceAbuseParentingParentsManipulationChild AbuseEmotional AbuseAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsDysfunctional FamiliesBelief SystemCore BeliefsChild Abuse Survivors
Book:Am I Bad? Recovering from Abuse
Create image

“Denial is our very real, personal response to our own trauma. But denial is the normative response to trauma—by everyone. Society may deny that anything bad ever happened to us. It may deny that DID exists. But that doesn't mean to say it's right. All it says is that like global warming, our histories and our stories are an "inconvenient truth".͏”

TraumaDenialGlobal WarmingDissociative Identity DisorderDissociationInconvenientInconvenient TruthChild Abuse SurvivorsAssociate DenialIt Wasn T That Bad
Book:Living with the Reality of Dissociative Identity Disorder: Campaigning Voices
Create image

“Eighty two percent of the traumatized children seen in the National Child Traumatic Stress Network do not meet diagnostic criteria for PTSD.15 Because they often are shut down, suspicious, or aggressive they now receive pseudoscientific diagnoses such as “oppositional defiant disorder,” meaning “This kid hates my guts and won’t do anything I tell him to do,” or “disruptive mood dysregulation disorder,” meaning he has temper tantrums. Having as many problems as they do, these kids accumulate numerous diagnoses over time. Before they reach their twenties, many patients have been given four, five, six, or more of these impressive but meaningless labels. If they receive treatment at all, they get whatever is being promulgated as the method of management du jour: medications, behavioral modification, or exposure therapy. These rarely work and often cause more damage.”

AggressiveChild AbusePtsdDisruptiveTraumatizedMisdiagnosisChild Abuse SurvivorsComplex TraumaTraumatic StressMental Health BiasTemper TantrumsChild TraumaPsuedoscience
Book:The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma
Create image

“One must consider that small children are virtually incapable of making much impact on their world. No matter what path taken as a child, survivors grow up believing they should have done something differently. Perhaps there is no greater form of survivor guilt than “I didn't try to stop it." Or “I should have told." The legacy of a helpless, vulnerable, out-of-control, and humiliated child creates an adult who is generally tentative, insecure, and quite angry. The anger is not often expressed, however, as it is not safe to be angry with violent people. Confrontation and conflict are difficult for many survivors.”

ConflictAngryGuiltBoundariesVulnerableInsecureConfrontationSurvivorsHumiliatedVictim BlamingRelationship ProblemsChild Abuse SurvivorsSelf BlameHelpedSurvivor GuiltBoundary IssuesChild Abuse EffectsAbuse History
Author:Sarah E. Olson
Create image

“The experience of chronic abuse carries within it the gross mislabeling of things. Perpetrators are really "nice daddies." Victims are "evil and seductive" (at the age of three!). Nonprotecting parents are "tired and busy." The survivor makes a giant leap forward when [he or ]she can call abuse by its right name and grasp the concept that what was done was a manifestation of the heart of the perpetrator, not the heart of the victim.”

AbuseTherapyAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsPerpetratorsSurvivors Of AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsMinimizationDenial Of AbuseAbusive FamilyMislabellingNonprotectingRrecovery From AbuseTherapy For Rape Victims
Book:Counseling Survivors of Sexual Abuse
Create image

“Can I play with the dolls now please Nan?” Caroline asked gently. “Yes with pleasure” nan replied. Caroline sat still for five minutes a little bit closer to our group playing cards and then gingerly said “where is it Nan?” As she clutched the one doll she’d been allowed to play with. “Where’s what?” Nan asked sighing like she'd been stopped mid way to picking up fifty pounds. “The pleasure?” Caroline replied innocently unaware of what it was she was saying. This story was retold by Nan many times when someone asked about Caroline to point out how unwell mentally she was and why she was under whichever punishment nan had designated for her at the time. Caroline had no mental problems. She had a stutter because she had been scared so much as a child. Unfortunately the story sums up how nan was with girls perfectly. There was no pleasure.”

MemoirChild AbuseAdoptionAutobiographyViolence Against WomenPsychopathKillerFoster CareChild Abuse SurvivorsSister Bond
Book:Tracie's Story: Care Abuse Love Murder
Create image

“The witch-hunt narrative is a really popular story that goes like this: Lots of people were falsely convicted of child sexual abuse in the 1980s and early 1990s. And they were all victims of a witch-hunt. It just doesn’t happen to line up with the facts when you actually look at the cases themselves in detail. But it’s a really popular narrative — I think it’s absolutely fair to say that’s the conventional wisdom. It’s what most people now think is the uncontested truth, and those cases had no basis in fact. And what 15 years of painstaking trial court research (says) is that that’s not a very fair description of those cases, and in fact many of those cases had substantial evidence of abuse. The witch-hunt narrative is that these were all gross injustices to the defendant. In fact, what it looks like in retrospect is the injustices were much more often to children.”

TruthLawMediaCrimeAbuseInjusticeDenialJudgementManipulationSurvivorChild AbuseChild Sexual AbuseJudgeLegalCriminalChild RapePedophiliaWitch HuntChildhood Sexual AbusePedophilesChild Abuse SurvivorsMedia LiesWitchhuntConvictedConvictSocial DenialChild Abuse ProtectorsMedia Denial
Author:Ross Cheit
Create image

“Attitudes and ignorance” about (any type of) abuse can be passed down through the generations. It is important to our healing that we sort out the belief systems we adopt; belief systems that were taught to us and because they are so full of lies, they lead to all kinds of depressions, addictions and other struggles while we try to cope with the manifestations of the problems instead of the roots of the problems.”

DepressionAddictionBelief SystemsHealing InsightsDysfunctional FamilyDysfunctional FamiliesBelief SystemAbuse RecoveryFamily SecretsChild Abuse SurvivorsFamily SystemsAbusive FamiliesAddiction Recevoery
Author:Darlene Ouimet
Create image

“The experience of childhood sexual abuse leaves some survivors with a high tolerance for pain. Dysfunctional environments require endurance and thick skin. Child survivors sometimes have to commit to sticking things out in order to survive. This pattern of tolerance follows you into adulthood. Instead of using pain as a signal to evaluate and change direction, you may use pain as a signal to try harder. Try harder to please someone. Try harder to control your children. Try harder to be a good friend. Try harder to be successful at a job that you hate. You remain in survival mode that you picked up as a child. Your high tolerance for pain keeps you committed to dysfunctional experiences and relationships that recycle pain from the past. Sometimes, the only way out of this cycle is time in isolation to learn what peace feels like. Sometimes you have to be willing to let go of everything in order to learn how to hold onto anything.”

Child Sexual AbuseAbuse SurvivorsChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorChild Abuse SurvivorsChild Sexual Abuse SurvivorsPain Tolerance
Author:Rosenna Bakari
Create image

“What still frightens me is that society is fickle. There was a time when nobody believed in the reality of abuse, and now it seems that just about everyone does, and yet, I realize we could still move backwards. It is important to stay firm: It took many years for the truth about sexual abuse to come to the fore. It is still fragile, and must be constantly nourished by research, reflection and above all, listening with empathy and an open heart to the stories of people who have been the victims of child abuse in its many forms and are now survivors. They have much to teach.”

Mental HealthSexual AbuseChild Sexual AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsPsychological TraumaDenial Of Child AbuseReality Of Abuse
Author:Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson
Create image

“In the past, child abuse has been a problem without a solution, with distressing case after case accumulating in public awareness without apparent end. At least the ‘false memory’ narrative offered a potential, if illusory and damaging, resolution to this intolerable situation, in the (re)suppression of victim complaints.”

Child AbuseChild Sexual AbuseSociety DenialFalse MemoriesChild Abuse SurvivorsChild Abuse DenialSilencing OthersSilence The Accuser
Author:Michael Salter
Create image

“The human need to be visible is countered by the need to be invisible to avoid further abuse, and the need for intimacy and the dread of abuse, all pose insoluble dichotomies which promote further withdrawal from human contact, which reinforces the sense of dehumanisation.”

PtsdDomestic ViolenceAbuse SurvivorsDomestic AbuseTraumatizedDehumanizationSurvivors Of AbuseCognitive DissonanceComplex PtsdChild Abuse SurvivorsWithdrawnDehumanisationDehumanizeDehumanized
Book:Introduction to Counselling Survivors of Interpersonal Trauma
Create image

“Because children take everything personally, they believe that if they are being mistreated, it's because they haven't been “good enough.” Being good as an adult makes them believe, incorrectly, that they have some control in life. They think that they will be rewarded for their goodness and that it will protect them from harm.”

Good EnoughControlledChild AbuseEmotional AbusePerfectionismControl IssuesPeople PleasingChild Abuse SurvivorsChild Maltreatment
Author:Marcia Sirota
Create image

“As you heal, you see yourself more realistically. You accept that you are a person with strengths and weaknesses. You make the changes you can in your life and let go of the things that aren’t in your power to change. You learn that every part of you is valuable. And you realize that all of your thoughts and feelings are important, even when they’re painful or difficult.”

HealingSelf AwarenessRecoveryAbuse SurvivorsEmotional HealthHealing InsightsSelf PerceptionNew PerspectiveSurvivors Of AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsEmotional FreedomValuing Yourself
Book:Beginning to Heal: A First Book for Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Create image

“Childhood trauma can range from having faces extreme violence and neglect to having confronted feelings of not belonging, being unwanted, or being chronically misunderstood. You may have grown up in an environment where your curiosity and enthusiasm were constantly devalued. Perhaps you were brought up in a family where your parents had unresolved traumas of their own, which impaired their ability to attend to your emotional needs. Or, you may have faced vicious sexual or physical attacks. In all such situations, you learn to compensate by developing defenses around your most vulnerabe parts.”

Childhood TraumaTraumatic ExperiencesTraumatizedComplex PtsdChild Abuse SurvivorsUnmet NeedsComplex Trauma
Book:The Complex PTSD Workbook: A Mind-Body Approach to Regaining Emotional Control and Becoming Whole
Create image

“Begin to nurture yourself…Some grew up expecting their romantic partners to give them the nurturing they hungered for, only to be disappointed. But our partners are not our parents, no matter how much we try to make them into parents. No one can make up for the deprivation you experienced, and no one should be expected to.”

Abuse SurvivorsHealing InsightsChild Abuse SurvivorsUnmet NeedsParenting Yourself
Book:The Emotionally Abusive Relationship: How to Stop Being Abused and How to Stop Abusing
Create image

“When faced with choosing between attributing their pain to “being crazy” and having had abusive parents, clients will choose “crazy” most of the time. Dora, a 38-year-old, was profoundly abused by multiple family perpetrators and has grappled with cutting and eating disordered behaviors for most of her life. She poignantly echoed this dilemma in her therapy: I hate it when we talk about my family as “dysfunctional” or “abusive.” Think about what you are asking me to accept—that my parents didn't love me, care about me, or protect me. If I have to choose between "being abused" or "being sick and crazy," it's less painful to see myself as nuts than to imagine my parents as evil.”

CuttingCrazyDenialTherapyNutsAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsAbusersDysfunctional FamiliesAbusive ParentsChild Abuse SurvivorsEating Disorder Causes
Book:Treating Self-Destructive Behaviors in Trauma Survivors: A Clinician's Guide
Create image

“As a child you received messages from your family to keep your mouth shut and remain invisible. You also learned to become invisible in order to protect yourself. You no longer need to be invisible to survive. If people do not notice you, they may not abuse you, but they also will not love you or attend to your needs. Make yourself and your needs known.”

Child AbuseNeedyHealing InsightsNeeds And WantsEmotional NeedsChild Abuse SurvivorsSelf Neglect
Book:The Right to Innocence: Healing the Trauma of Childhood Sexual Abuse: A Therapeutic 7-Step Self-Help Program for Men and Women, Including How to Choose a Therapist and Find a Support Group
Create image

“Denial of perpetration is simply not evidence that none has occurred, because even when there is physical evidence of abuse, sexual abusers of children may continue to deny that they did anything....The tactics of the false memory movement have shown remarkable parallels to those of sexual abusers who attempt to silence their victims, and I wonder why this is.”

RapeFalse MemoriesFalse MemoryFalse Memory Syndrome FoundationChild Abuse SurvivorsFalse AccusationsFalse Allegations
Author:Laura S. Brown
Create image

“Many survivors struggle to believe the abuse happened. They don’t want to believe it. It’s too painful to think about. They don’t want to accuse family members or face the terrible loss involved in realizing “a loved one” hurt them; they don’t want to rock the boat.”

DenialDisbeliefAvoidanceAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsSurvivors Of AbuseFacing RealityChild Abuse SurvivorsParental AbuseDenial Of AbuseTrauma MemoriesDenial Of Child AbuseDenial Of IncestRock The Boat
Book:Allies in Healing: When the Person You Love Was Sexually Abused as a Child
Create image

“In spite of the horror, in spite of the tragedy, in spite of the weeks of sleepless nights, I'm finally alive. I'm not pretending. I feel real. I'm not playing charades anymore. I wouldn't go back to the way I was for anything. I'm really like a different person. I'm where I am, and I'm making the most of it. I know I'm courageous now. I found out I had it in me to face this. — Barbara”

HopeHealingRecoveryTrue SelfAuthentic SelfAbuse SurvivorsSurvivorsHealing JourneyReal SelfFace Your FearsHealing From AbuseRecovery From AbuseCharadesChild Abuse SurvivorHealing AbuseChild Abuse SurvivorsNew MeFeel AliveDeciding To ChangeGave Your Fears ChoiceHope And Disappointment
Book:The Courage to Heal: A Guide for Women Survivors of Child Sexual Abuse
Create image

“Although Megan "knew" she was not in danger, her body told her that she was. If sensorimotor habits are firmly entrenched, accurate cognitive interpretations may not exert much influence on changing bodily orgamzation and arousal responses. Instead, the traumatized person may experience the reality of the body rather than that of the mind. To be most effective, the sensorimotor psychotherapist works on both the cognitive and sensorimotor levels. With Megan, a purely cognitive approach might foster some change in her integrative capacity, but the change would be only momentary if the cowering response were reactivated each time she received feedback at work... However, if she is encouraged to remember to "stand tall" in the face of criticism, her body and her thoughts will be congruent with each other and with current reality.”

PsychotherapyHealing The PastTrauma SurvivorsChild Abuse SurvivorsTrauma TherapySensorimotor TherapyEmotional Flashback
Book:Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment
Create image