“My parents never recognized the things that for me were achievements. I was praised for the things that came naturally to me, like my intelligence, but when I really put all my effort into looking nice (trying to), it went unrecognised. No-one ever told me I looked pretty or nice, or that I was a beautiful person (to them) and I needed them to...” Body ImageLow Self EsteemEmotional NeglectUnmet NeedsChildhood NeglectFeeling IgnoredFeeling UglyFeeling Unloved Book:To Die For Source: To Die For
“There was another problem with Emma's father, difficult for a small child who already thought of herself as greedy - his way of trying to keep her attention, to bribe her, with gifts. On each vof her visits, he would appear with you presents, beautifully wrapped> And her confusion that she liked - and wanted - the presents, but not the man, was painful. He used 'sparkly Sellotape' and cut things into nice shapes and she wistfully writes: I wish he'd be able to translate that care into his treatment of me.” ConfusionEmotional PainEmotional NeglectBad Parenting SkillsMixed Messages Book:To Die For Source: To Die For
“Whatever it was her father wanted, Emma did not know how to provide it. She felt confused by what he did, and imagined the problem was a lack in her, rather than him. And there was something else: My dad was always late when we had our meetings - i i never wanted to go in the first place, and then i'd be sitting and waiting, feeling so ugly and worthless because i wasn't worth being on time for . . . One time when my father was late he said he fell asleep . . . I wouldn't let myself cry in front of him.” FatherWorthlessnessEmotional NeedsEmotional Neglect Book:To Die For Source: To Die For
“I was a very lonely child and it's funny but the first word that comes to my head is "starved". I felt starved of affection, starved of love and I felt that it wasn't OK to ask for it. Maybe there was a sense that if I deserved it, it would be there. There must be something I'd done which meant I didn't deserve it.” StarvingAnorexiaEating DisorderUnlovedLack Of LoveEmotional NeglectUnmet NeedsSelf BlameStarved Book:To Die For Source: To Die For