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Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen Quotes

Professor

Deborah Tannen, born on June 7, 1945, is an accomplished American linguist and professor. Her research focuses on the relationship between gender and language, particularly the differences in communication between men and women. Tannen's book 'You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation' has become a bestseller, profoundly impacting the public's understanding of gender communication differences.

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All Men People Communication Conversation Ifs Way Feels Knows Want World Argument Different Ideas Independence Men And Women Needs Approach Connections Cooperation Culture

Famous Deborah Tannen Quotes

“The argument culture urges us to approach the world - and the people in it - in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views and present them as 'both sides'; the best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best way to begin an essay is to attack someone; and the best way to show you're really thinking is to criticize.”

“All communication is more or less cross-cultural. We learn to use language as we grow up, and growing up in different parts of the country, having different ethnic, religious, or class backgrounds, even just being male or female - all result in different ways of talking.”

Source: That's not what I meant!: how conversational style makes or breaks your relations with others

“The one who decides who goes ahead has the upper hand, regardless of who gets to go. This is why many women do not feel empowered by such privileges as having doors held open for them. The advantage of going first through the door is less salient to them than the disadvantage of being granted the right to walk through a door by someone who is framed, by his magnanimous gesture, as the arbiter of the right-of-way.”

Way Feels Firsts Hands Walks Power Doors Advantage Privilege Granted Gestures Empowered Disadvantages Framed Arbiter Upper Hand Magnanimous

Book:That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships

Source: That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships

“The argument culture urges us to approach the world-and the people in it-in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: Conflict and opposition are as necessary as cooperation and agreement, but the scale is off balance, with conflict and opposition over-weighted.”

People World Way Mind Done Culture Balance Conflict Approach Argument Scales Best Way Assumption Opposition Urges Agreement Cooperation Frame Of Mind

Author:Deborah Tannen

“The biggest mistake is believing there is one right way to listen, to talk, to have a conversation - or a relationship.”

Way Believe Mistake Communication Conversation Positivity Right Way Biggest Mistake

Author:Deborah Tannen

“For most women, the language of conversation is primarily a language of rapport: a way of establishing connections and negotiating relationships.”

Way Language Conversation Connections Negotiating Rapport

Author:Deborah Tannen

“Girls are not accustomed to jockeying for status in an obvious way; they are more concerned that they be liked.”

Way Girl Concerned Obvious Accustomed

Book:You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation

Source: You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation