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Deborah Tannen

Deborah Tannen Quotes

Professor

Deborah Tannen, born on June 7, 1945, is an accomplished American linguist and professor. Her research focuses on the relationship between gender and language, particularly the differences in communication between men and women. Tannen's book 'You Just Don't Understand: Women and Men in Conversation' has become a bestseller, profoundly impacting the public's understanding of gender communication differences.

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All Men People Communication Conversation Ifs Way Feels Knows Want World Argument Different Ideas Independence Men And Women Needs Approach Connections Cooperation Culture

Famous Deborah Tannen Quotes

“The argument culture urges us to approach the world - and the people in it - in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: The best way to discuss an idea is to set up a debate; the best way to cover news is to find spokespeople who express the most extreme, polarized views and present them as 'both sides'; the best way to settle disputes is litigation that pits one party against the other; the best way to begin an essay is to attack someone; and the best way to show you're really thinking is to criticize.”

“any criticism heard secondhand sounds worse than it would face to face. Words spoken out of our presence strike us as more powerful, just as people we know only by reputation seem larger than life.”

People Knows Seems Faces Sound Powerful Heard Criticism Strikes Reputation Face To Face Larger Than Life

Book:That's not what I meant!: how conversational style makes or breaks your relations with others

Source: That's not what I meant!: how conversational style makes or breaks your relations with others

“Words can be like weapons of destruction: It takes so much effort, and the cooperation of so many people, to build something - and so little effort of so few to tear it down.”

People Littles Effort Tears Weapons Destruction Cooperation

Book:The Argument Culture: Moving from Debate to Dialogue

Source: The Argument Culture: Moving from Debate to Dialogue

“[T]he seeds of [the Argument Culture] can be found our classrooms, where a teacher will introduce an article or an idea . . . setting up debates where people learn not to listen to each other because they're so busy trying to win the debate.”

People Trying Ideas Culture Found Winning Teacher Argument Busy Seeds Debate Setting Settings Articles Classroom Introducing

Author:Deborah Tannen

“When people realize that in the long run you may be turning off the audiences more, even though they will look temporarily--in the end they turn away, we really need to develop other metaphors and not talk about two sides, but talk about all sides.”

People Needs Looks May Long Two Ends Running Turns Sides Realizing Audience Metaphor Long Runs Two Sides

Author:Deborah Tannen

“Life is a matter of dealing with other people, in little matters and cataclysmic ones, and that means a series of conversations.”

People Mean Littles Matter Life Is Conversation Series

Book:That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships

Source: That's Not What I Meant!: How Conversational Style Makes or Breaks Relationships

“The argument culture urges us to approach the world-and the people in it-in an adversarial frame of mind. It rests on the assumption that opposition is the best way to get anything done: Conflict and opposition are as necessary as cooperation and agreement, but the scale is off balance, with conflict and opposition over-weighted.”

People World Way Mind Done Culture Balance Conflict Approach Argument Scales Best Way Assumption Opposition Urges Agreement Cooperation Frame Of Mind

Author:Deborah Tannen

“To say that a person feels listened to means a lot more than just their ideas get heard. It's a sign of respect. It makes people feel valued.”

People Feels Mean Persons Ideas Heard Listening

Author:Deborah Tannen

“Treating people the same is not equal treatment if they are not the same.”

People Ifs Equal Treatment Equal Treatment

Author:Deborah Tannen