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Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul

Book by Douglas Adams · 28 quotes · Ifs, People, Answers

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Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency Box Set: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency and The Long Dark Tea-Time of the Soul Quotes

“The usual people tried to claim responsibility. First the IRA , then the PLO and the Gas Board. Even British Nuclear Fuels rushed out a statement to the effect that the situation was completely under control, that it was a one in a million chance, that there was hardly any radioactive leakage at all, and that the site of the explosion would make a nice location for a day out with the kids and a picnic, before finally having to admit that it wasn't actually anything to do with them at all.”

PeopleFirstsKidsChanceResponsibilitySituationMillionsNiceEffectsClaimsBritishNuclearStatementsBoardsFuelGasUsualSiteLocationExplosionsPicnicsIraOne In A MillionLeakage
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“My own strategy is to find a car, or the nearest equivalent, which looks as if it knows where it's going and follow it. I rarely end up where I was intending to go, but often I end up somewhere I needed to be.”

IfsKnowsLooksEndsMy OwnCarNeededStrategy
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“The reason why so many sects hang around airports looking for converts: they know that people there are at their most vulnerable and perplexed, and ready to accept any kind of guidance.”

PeopleKnowsKindReasonAcceptingAtheismReadyPositive AtheismVulnerableReason WhyGuidanceAirportsSectsPerplexed
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“It can hardly be a coincidence that no language on earth has ever produced the expression "As pretty as an airport." Airports are ugly. Some are very ugly. Some attain a degree of ugliness that can only be the result of a special effort. This ugliness arises because airports are full of people who are tired, cross, and have just discovered that their luggage has landed in Murmansk (Murmansk airport is the only exception of this otherwise infallible rule), and architects have on the whole tried to reflect this in their designs.”

PeopleWholeEarthLanguageResultsEffortSpecialDesignExpressionDegreesCrossesTiredUglyAriseExceptionArchitectCoincidenceAirportsUglinessInfallibleLuggage
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“Insofar as she recognized at all that she was dreaming, she realized that she must be exploring her subconscious mind. She had heard it said that humans are supposed only to use about a tenth of their brains, and that no one was really clear what the other nine tenths were for, but she had certainly never heard it suggested that they were used for storing penguins.”

MindHumansSaidUseDreamUsedBrainClearHeardNineExploringSubconsciousSubconscious MindPenguins
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“If the Universe came to an end every time there was some uncertainty about what had happened in it, it would never have got beyond the first picosecond. And many of course don't. It's like a human body, you see. A few cuts and bruises here and there don't hurt it. Not even major surgery if it's done properly. Paradoxes are just the scar tissue. Time and space heal themselves up around them and people simply remember a version of events which makes as much sense as they require it to make.”

PeopleIfsFirstsHumansEndsDoneBodyRememberUniverseCoursesHurtSpaceCuttingHappenedEventsMajorsHealVersionsUncertaintyParadoxScarSurgeryTime And SpaceHuman BodyHere And ThereTissuesBruisesScar TissueCuts And Bruises
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“The idea was fantastically, wildly improbable. But like most fantastically, wildly improbable ideas it was at least as worthy of consideration as a more mundane one to which the facts had been strenuously bent to fit.”

IdeasFactsFitWorthyConsiderationBentMundaneImprobable
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“Dirk turned on the car wipers, which grumbled because they didn't have quite enough rain to wipe away, so he turned them off again. Rain quickly speckled the windscreen. He turned on the wipers again, but they still refused to feel that the exercise was worthwhile, and scraped and squeaked in protest.”

FeelsStillsEnoughCarExerciseRainProtestWorthwhileWipe
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“Dennis Hutch had stepped up into the top seat when its founder had died of a lethal overdose of brick wall, taken while under the influence of a Ferrari and a bottle of tequila.”

TakenInfluenceWallDiedSeatsBottlesFoundersBricksFerrariBrick WallHitchhikingOverdoseTequilaTea Time
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“Yes it is,' said the Professor. 'Wait—' he motioned to Richard, who was about to go out again and investigate— 'let it be. It won't be long.' Richard stared in disbelief. 'You say there's a horse in your bathroom, and all you can do is stand there naming Beatles songs?' The Professor looked blankly at him.”

LongSaidSongWaitingCan DoHorseProfessorsBathroomDisbelief
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“Unfortunately this Electric Monk had developed a fault, and had started to believe all kinds of things, more or less at random. It was even beginning to believe things they'd have difficulty believing in Salt Lake City.”

BelieveKindCitiesDifficultyFaultsAll KindsLakesSaltElectricMonkSalt Lake City
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“But for a moment Dirk had a sense of inifinite loss and sadness that somewhere among the frenzy of information noise that daily rattled the lives of men he thought he might have heard a few notes that denoted the movements of gods.”

MenMomentsMightLossHeardSadnessInformationMovementNotesNoiseFrenzy
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“Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.”

TruthAnswersImpossibleRemainsHolmesImprobable
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“He had a tremendous propensity for getting lost when driving. This was largely because of his method of “Zen” navigation, which was simply to find any car that looked as if it knew where it was going and follow it. The results were more often surprising than successful, but he felt it was worth it for the sake of the few occasions when it was both.”

IfsLostFeltResultsSuccessfulCarMethodSakeDrivingOccasionsSurprisingWorth ItPropensityNavigationGetting Lost
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“When the girl sitting at the next table looked away from a moment, Dirk leaned over and took her coffee. He knew that he was perfectly safe doing this because she would simply not be able to believe that this had happened.”

BelieveMomentsAbleGirlNextHappenedSafeSittingTablesCoffee
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“Plenty of people did not care for him much, but then there is a huge difference between disliking somebody - maybe even disliking them a lot - and actually shooting them, strangling them, dragging them through the fields and setting their house on fire.”

PeopleCareHouseDifferencesFireFieldsHugeSettingSettingsPlentyShootingStrangling
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“If on the other hand he went to pay his respects to The Door and it wasn't there . . . what then? The answer, of course, was very simple. He had a whole board of circuits for dealing with exactly this problem, in fact this was the very heart of his function. He would continue to believe in it whatever the facts turned out to be, what else was the meaning of Belief? The Door would still be there, even if the Door was not.”

IfsBelieveHeartStillsWholeFactsProblemHandsCoursesBeliefSimpleAnswersPayDoorsFunctionPositive AtheismBoardsCircuits
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“He had extracted himself from the Cambridge one-way system by the usual method, which involved going round and round it faster and faster until he achieved a sort of escape velocity and flew off at a tangent in a random direction, which he was now trying to identify and correct for.”

WayTryingInvolvedMethodRoundsOne WayFasterUsualFlewVelocityCambridge
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