Jeff Mach Quotes

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All Power Dark Lord Empowerment Humor Break Control Dedication Human Identity Label

Famous Jeff Mach Quotes

“Friends help you move. Real friends help you move bodies. True friends help you move the bodies of those who turned out not to have been friends to begin with.”

Truth Trust Friends Lies Loyalty Dedication Hide Bodies Reveal

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“I am a product of the flames which burnt me; the anvil which forged me; and the will that made me grow formidable instead of breaking.”

Growth Break Power Fire Strength Live In The Moment Formidable Forge

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“They hate being unable to control you.”

Power Society Hero Empowerment Individuality Control Villain

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“Surety is a narcotic which masks the fact that you're dying. Losing it is a gift.”

Reality Truth Loss Dying Awakening Realization Surety Narcotic

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“How often must you be betrayed before you see that others are taking your kindness for weakness, your silence for an inability to speak?”

Mistake Silence Kindness Power Weakness Defeat Betrayal Try Speak Up

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“There is a word for someone whose existence threatens your sanity, life, happiness, and future: human. And there is a word for someone whose existence is the hope for your sanity, life, happiness, and future: human.”

Human

Book:"I Hate Your Time Machine": A fiction-fueled guide to some of the worst tropes of Fantasy & Science Fiction

Source: "I Hate Your Time Machine": A fiction-fueled guide to some of the worst tropes of Fantasy & Science Fiction

“First off, contrary to popular belief, I'm as human as you are. One of us should probably be ashamed of that. I'm not entirely sure that it's me.”

Humanity Belief Identity Human Shame Presence Self Identity Label

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“Dark Lords shatter destiny; it's what we do.”

Break Destiny Shatter Dark Lord What We Do Break The Status Quo You Had One Job

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“When I started out, all I knew was that I was not going to stay where I'd been. I was going to change. I was going to make my part of the world into something that I wanted–not wait, hope, or beg for the world to start to want me.”

Want Change Power Confidence Empowerment Start Wait Diy

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“Stories. They only belong to the people if the people demand to speak.”

People Stories Speak Power Demand Empowerment Speak Up Voices

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“This is a lesson in creation: The first blood of blood magic is always your own.”

Magic Sacrifice Blood Creation Dedication Lesson Blood Magic

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“And lo, at the moment when she needed it most, she found the force within her. She didn't find it in time to avoid having her head bitten off, but she sure did die enlightened.”

Humor Funny Force Enlightened Die Gore Female Hero

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“I am a Namer.”

Power Identity Decisions Control Name I Am Label Namer

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“I was imprisoned, and no-one freed me. I cried for help, and no-one freed me. Eventually, I shook off my chains and I returned. They said, 'Why do you no longer love us?' I said, 'I realized that you have always been my chains.”

Stories Prison Revenge Progression Djinn Mythical Centuries

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“And sadly, fairytale kingdoms work poorly. It’s not just that they’re fairytales and thus not terribly real; we’ve seen stranger and more mythical attempts at leadership in our time. The problem is that Fairytales attract Good Faeries, and thus Bad Faeries; Evil Queens; Huntsmen, and, of course, The Grand Vizier. And all of those tend to lead to ruination.”

Fairytales Rulership Grand Vizier

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“Burn the witch!” will always be a simpler option than, “Raise a very, very large army, cross the abysmal hells cape, battle an op- posing very, very large army, and try to figure out some way to kill the Dark Lord!” And it’s significantly more efficient to chant, as well.”

Humor Dark Humor Witch Hunt Dark Lord Humorous Fantasy

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“The Chosen One is often told that failure is not an option. The Dark Lord knows that failure, like hurt and harm, is one not simply an option, but one of many companions. True power seldom comes without risk. Sufficient risk eventually results in harm. If you think you can trap a thousand demons and never have a single one break through your defenses and wreak havoc on your mind for a while—then you’ve likely never summoned any demons at all.”

Risk True Power Chosen One Dark Lord

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“Punching your companions is unhelpful. Go into the forest and practice unarmed combat against a tree.”

Practice Tree Anger Forest Aggravation Punching Companions Unarmed Combat

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

“It’s a little-known fact, but Unicorns are something like 20% paint, and their horns are stolen exclusively from endangered species.”

Humor Myths Unicorns Fantasy Humor

Book:There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

Source: There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark Lord

About the Author

Known for: Author
Quotes: 19

Books & Sources

There and Never, Ever Back Again: Diary of a Dark LordRelated source material

"I Hate Your Time Machine": A fiction-fueled guide to some of the worst tropes of Fantasy & Science FictionRelated source material