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Jen Kirkman

Jen Kirkman Quotes

Comedian

Jen Kirkman is an American comedian known for her unique humor style and self-deprecating wit. Born on August 28, 1974, she has made a name for herself in the comedy scene since the early 2000s. Kirkman is recognized for her work in television shows, web series, and books, which often delve into personal experiences, gender, and interpersonal relationships.

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Famous Jen Kirkman Quotes

“People said to me, "You know, when you record a special, you're going to regret it. The one thing you'll regret because you're a comic is you'll think of better tags."”

People Thinking Knows Said Records One Thing Special Regret Comic Tag Special You

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I used to make albums because I wasn't touring, and so I thought, "This is the best way for people to find out about me.”

People Way Used Albums Best Way Touring

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I realized that even I have weird intimacy issues with humans - like, I need my friendships to get deeper, I need to be locked in, I need to remember people's names. I know this sounds really stupid, but I just need to be more present in my life.”

People Knows Needs Humans Remember Names Sound Issues Stupid Deeper I Realized Intimacy Locked My Friendship Really Stupid

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I think people with anxiety do different things during different years, and for me, I waded through my anxiety during the last two years with men, and flirting, and dating, and this thing and that thing, and so that's going to stop, and that has stopped.”

People Thinking Years Different Anxiety Different Things

Author:Jen Kirkman

“Whatever my life looks like, I want it to be real and big and full. I want when, if I get hit by a car, I want to know that I have deep and real friendships, people to visit me in the hospital.”

People Ifs Knows Want Looks Real Bigs Car Hospitals Being Real Real Friends Real Friendship

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I have some pretty wonderful friendships, so that's been really good for me. In the past year, I've really worked on that. I think when I was married, I let my friendships go. I think people thought, "Oh, because she's married now, she's so happy all the time." But I really was just isolated in my house.”

People Thinking Years Past House Wonderful Married Isolated My Friendship Wonderful Friendship

Author:Jen Kirkman

“My joke is a picture of David Bowie on his balcony in the '70s in a suit in Paris, and unless that's you, I'm not interested. There are very few aesthetic types that I have, and people who look like that are not always necessarily good for me.”

People Looks Type Jokes Suits Paris Aesthetic Not Interested Bowie Balconies

Author:Jen Kirkman

“Actually, my friendships are changing because my friends have kids, so that's a new aspect to the material. Not just that I don't want to have kids, it's that I'm having a hard time relating to people I know.”

People Knows Want Hard Kids Materials My Friends Aspect Hard Times My Friendship Having A Hard Time

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I wonder if that's the difference between fathers and mothers. I'm friends with people who have kids that are like 5 and under, and they're still in that intense mother-bonding phase. It might just be that. Because the dads haven't changed.”

People Ifs Stills Might Kids Mother Father Differences Wonder Havens Changed Dad Intense Phases Bonding

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I'm tired of explaining to Hollywood that people would laugh at me, because I go around America making them laugh every week. Nobody would be offended, nobody would think my leather pants are too controversial.”

People Thinking Would Be America Laughing Week Hollywood Tired Pants Offended Explaining Controversial Leather I'm Tired Leather Pants

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I really will never understand pushing back on comedians who are like, "I'm like a politician campaigning and shaking hands with these people. They're going to be okay."”

People Hands Politician Okay Comedian Pushing Shaking Campaigning Shaking Hands Pushing Back

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I had no idea that marriage was only supposed to be between two people who wanted to get between the sheets and make more people. What ever happened to marrying for love— or to get on your partner’s health insurance policy, or for presents? No one was going to buy two people in their thirties a four-slice toaster if we just continued to live in sin.”

People Ifs Two Ideas Wanted Sin Four Happened Policy Partners Supposed To Be No Idea Sheets Marrying Toasters Insurance Policy

Book:I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids

Source: I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids

“I don't want to have kids and so I am not going to have kids. People who want kids are going to have kids. I'm doing what I want to do and people who want kids are doing what they want to do. What about this scenario makes me selfish?”

People Want Kids Selfish Scenarios

Book:I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids

Source: I Can Barely Take Care of Myself: Tales From a Happy Life Without Kids

“I made a career goals list for 2017 and it's so funny. I have low self-esteem or something, so I put both wishes and goals. The goals were things I'm going to do anyway, because I have no choice because my job is to do stand-up comedy so I have to tour and I have to write stuff. The wishes were all things that could be goals. As in, I bet people who have achieved these things called them goals at one point. But I haven't looked at that piece of paper since.”

People Writing Made Self Jobs Choices Wish Stuff Goal Careers Comedy Pieces Self Esteem Havens Paper Lows All Things Lists Esteem Low Self Esteem Stand Up Comedy Career Goals

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I'm still hibernating so I get really frustrated with other people's goals and just stop.”

People Stills Goal Frustrated Get Real

Author:Jen Kirkman

“We've seen a kind of Donald Trump supporter on steroids, like the hate-crime people. Those people, I don't want to see, like anyone violent or carrying a gun or anything like that. But I won't know if they disagree with me unless they decide to heckle.”

People Ifs Knows Want Kind Hate Crime Trump Gun Violent Disagree Supporter Hate Crime Steroid

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I'll take anyone I can get that will pay money to see me. And if there's more of me in the world, people who think they're good people and comedians who have a good message or whatever, then that's great. If there's some kind of balance there that's good.”

People Ifs Thinking World Kind I Can Pay Balance Messages Comedian Good People

Author:Jen Kirkman

“[People] might turn into [Donald] Trump supporters who think, "Hey, I get what women are saying." So any chance I get to have people listen that should hear me is good.”

People Thinking Should Might Turns Chance Trump Hey Supporter

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I think I say things nicely and my whole goal is to be understood and that includes by people who don't understand me.”

People Thinking Whole Goal Understood Understand Me

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I don't do jokes about elections so that's probably why it went okay for me, except for the crazy people that are hate-crime people.”

People Hate Crazy Crime Jokes Okay Election Hate Crime Crazy People

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I put my filter on, though, and I only see things people I follow [on Twitter] write now. So, I don't even know anymore [ trolls].”

People Knows Writing Filters Troll

Author:Jen Kirkman

“My rule is if one person says it, a thousand people want to say it. That goes for compliments too. I try to balance it out in my head.”

People Ifs Want Trying Persons Balance Thousand Compliment

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I don't think people are really breaking ground and getting new fans or anything. So, I just use it more in my personal life but obviously I'm in a business where people think that Twitter matters so I'll be like, "Yes, I will tweet out this show." But it is something that me, the human, uses.”

People Thinking Humans Matter Use Shows Fans Personal Life Tweet

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I want to be one of those cool people that's like, "What is Twitter?" and just be totally blind to it.”

People Want Blind Cool People

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I have a new rule where I only follow fashion people on Instagram.”

People Fashion Instagram

Author:Jen Kirkman

“Have you ever seen the stereotype of the angry yoga teacher? There are some people that are at an 11 and yoga takes them down to a nine. That's me.”

People Teacher Yoga Angry Nine Stereotype Yoga Teachers

Author:Jen Kirkman

“When you travel, people might not have the same ideas about what is interesting. I'm not really good at compromising when I travel.”

People Ideas Might Interesting Compromise

Author:Jen Kirkman

“My curriculum would be the whole year. It would be really slow and it would be about human anatomy. I would teach people about women's bodies so they understand what Planned Parenthood is for.”

People Years Humans Whole Body Would Be Teach Parenthood Curriculum Anatomy Planned Parenthood Women's Bodies Whole Year

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I'd also talk about the period and of course all the different gender things that people might feel that they are. I'd be a terrible teacher because of what I don't know about that.”

People Knows Feels Different Might Courses Teacher Periods Terrible Gender

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I don't even think people really understand how you can get pregnant or when you get pregnant. I still have questions about that.”

People Thinking Stills Pregnant

Author:Jen Kirkman

“I want to re-visit everything. We're people and we're so different. I think it would just be nice if it wasn't just like, "Eww, women." That would be a big thing for me.”

People Ifs Thinking Want Different Bigs Would Be Nice Being Nice Big Things

Author:Jen Kirkman

About the Author

Born: August 28, 1974
Known for: Comedian
Quotes: 113

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