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“For a while, I just sat there in that position, but eventually I gave up and was about to turn the lights off when it hit me. I knew what was stuck in my head. A phrase. Reaching for my desk, I grabbed the new notebook and pencil that were sitting by the edge and flipped the cover, lying flat on my back. Steadying the spine of the notebook with my palm, I took the pencil to the first blank page and wrote the words: “All the lovers in the night.” The phrase had appeared out of nowhere. Through the faint light of the room, I looked over the words, which came together in the strangest way. On the one hand, they felt new to me, like something I’d never heard or seen before, though I also felt like maybe I had read them somewhere, in the title of a movie or a song, which meant it had emerged from someplace inside of me. Hard to say. Seeing my handwriting under the light, I realized that this was the first time I’d written something without having a specific purpose, not a comment in somebody else’s manuscript or galley, but my own words on a blank sheet of paper. I had no clue what to do with these words, no idea what they were for, or what they meant, but I stared at them and felt them reach my heart and linger there.”

“Midoriko me miró a los ojos mientras señalaba la amplia superficie, al otro lado de la ventana, teñida de color violeta y, luego, dirigió de nuevo los ojos hacia fuera. Aquel cielo que iba extendiéndose hacia la nostalgia, hacia lo que aún no habíamos vivido, estaba moteado de retazos de nubes como huellas de las yemas de los dedos. A través de los resquicios, se vertía una luz tenue que dibujaba suavemente los contornos de las nubes con matices de color violeta, rosado y azul oscuro. Parecía que si aguzabas la vista, podías ver el viento que soplaba en lo alto del cielo y que, si alargabas la mano, podías acariciar la película que envolvía el mundo. El cielo reflejaba los colores como si fuera una melodía que no podrá ser interpretada una segunda vez.”

“Is this my life? I’m glad that I can write I’m thankful for this life And all the good it’s given me But can I live like this forever? Alone Can I really be alone like this? Forever? I can’t take it — actually that’s not true, that’s a lie I’m fine on my own It’s fine, but what about you Am I really okay Not knowing you? What if I regret it? My child, unlike any other, Can I really say I’m okay Never knowing you?”

“Beauty meant that you were good. And being good meant being happy. Happiness can be defined all kinds of ways, but human beings, consciously or unconsciously, are always pulling for their own version of happiness. Even people who want to die see death as a kind of solace, and view ending their lives as the only way to make it there. Happiness is the base unit of consciousness, our single greatest motivator. Saying "I just want to be happy" trumps any other explanation. But who knows. Maybe Makiko had a more specific reason, not just some vague idea of how to make herself happy.”

“What is dying anyway? I let this impossible question fill the darkness of my bedroom. I thought about how somebody was always dying somewhere, at any given moment. This isn’t a fable or a joke or an abstract idea. People are always dying. It’s a perfect truth. No matter how we live our lives, we all die sooner or later. In which case, living is really just waiting to die. And if that’s true, why bother living at all? Why was I even alive? I made myself crazy, tossing and turning, hyperventilat- ing. Then it hit me: dying is just like sleeping. You only know you’re sleeping when you wake up the next day, but if morn- ing never comes, you sleep forever. That must be what death is like. When someone dies, they don’t even know they’re dead. Because they never see it happen, nobody ever really dies. This hit me like a sucker punch.”

Book:Heaven

“The sky reached into the past and into obscurity, streaked with strips of cloud like marks left by a tired finger. The light leaking between the clouds was touched with purples, gentle reds and heavy blues. If you looked far up enough, you could see the wind blowing. It almost felt as if we could touch this layer wrapped around the world, if we just stuck out our hands. It showed its colors like a melody that could never be repeated.”

“The thing about results - whether or not something turns out well - is that it's mostly about luck. Things like that can change. You can make people believe whatever you want. You can fool them like it's nothing. But you can't fool yourself, not really. That's why what matters is how you think about your work in your lifetime, how much you respect it, how hard you're trying.”

“Why does the night have to be so beautiful? As I walked through the night, I remember what Mitsutsuka said to me. "Because at night, only half the world remains." I count the lights. All the lights of the night. The red light at the intersection, trembling as if wet, even though it isn't raining. Streetlight after streetlight. Taillights trailing off into the distance. The soft glow of the windows. Phones in the hands of people just arriving home, and people just about to go somewhere. Why is the night so beautiful? Why does it shine the way it does? Why is the night made up entirely of light? The music flows from the earphones filling my ears, filling me it becomes everything. A lullaby. A gorgeous piano lullaby. What a wonderful piece of music. It really is. It's my favorite piece by Chopin. Did you like it too, Fuyuko? Yeah. It's like the night is breathing. Like the sound of melted light. (The light at night is special because the overwhelming light of day has left us, and the remaining half draws on everything it has to keep the world around us bright.) You're right, Mitsutsuka. It isn't anything, but it's so beautiful that I could cry.”