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Ned Beauman Books

Novelist

Ned Beauman, born in 1985, is a talented British novelist known for his unique narrative style and profound insights into social issues.

The Teleportation Accident

A source page for quotes linked to Ned Beauman.

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Venomous Lumpsucker

A source page for quotes linked to Ned Beauman.

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Grief

Book:Venomous Lumpsucker

Source: Venomous Lumpsucker

“...a tall, gaunt man with small narrow eyes set deep in his skull like two old sisters trying to spy out of the windows of their house without being noticed themselves.”

Metaphor

Book:The Teleportation Accident

Source: The Teleportation Accident

“...a portrait of a muscular grey-haired man with a grim, almost demented gaze and the sort of moustache that could beat you in an arm-wrestling contest.”

Moustache Portrait

Book:The Teleportation Accident

Source: The Teleportation Accident

“Naming one thing after another cannot, logically, increase the chances of the new thing turning out like the old thing.”

Chance One Thing Increase New Things Old Things One Thing After Another

Author:Ned Beauman

“The reason I start a novel is because there's something that excites me and I want to explore it.”

Reason Novel

Author:Ned Beauman

“I never really have blank page syndrome. I don't get blocked. I have a plan for my novel before I start which, although incomplete, probably contains enough material for several novels by a quieter kind of writer. And I try to get my arms around that material and see where it takes me.”

Trying Kind Enough Novel Incomplete Blocked

Author:Ned Beauman

“I love sentences. I love characters. But most of all, perhaps, I love to work on plot, and that may be where my natural gifts lie, if I have any. I like to think hard about plots in TV shows and films.”

Thinking Character Film Lying Natural

Author:Ned Beauman

“Mystery, investigation, false leads, solution - we associate that structure with genre fiction, but it exists in our real lives, too. There's no reason why literary fiction shouldn't be able to acknowledge that and make it fresh.”

Real Reason Mystery Solutions Real Life Acknowledge

Author:Ned Beauman

“I've never really understood that whole thing of writers avoiding other writers' novels while they're working on their own.”

Novel Avoiding

Author:Ned Beauman

“I hate going back over what I've written. It makes me feel physically sick.”

Hate Sick I Hate

Author:Ned Beauman

“When I'm writing new material, I never have any trouble coming up with ideas.”

Writing Trouble

Author:Ned Beauman

“Politicians often like to suggest that their policies come about through objective thinking, but if you look at British fascists, for example, what you see - what I see - is a group of people coming to the decisions they came to because something happened to them when they were nine-years-old, or because of some deep prejudice that formed in them subsequent to that.”

People Thinking Decision Policy Politician Prejudice

Author:Ned Beauman

“It seems to me that the basic plot of all historical novels is a romance swept aside by history.”

Romance Novel Historical

Author:Ned Beauman

“Most romances aren't swept aside by big historical events. Most romances in the history of the world fall apart because of other, smaller happenings. History can sometimes be in the background, the thing which instead of rupturing your life merely irritates you by pressing itself now and then into the foreground.”

World Sometimes Romance Fall Historical Now And Then Falling Apart World History

Author:Ned Beauman

“There are probably a couple of things I'd never write about until everyone I know is dead. And then there's other stuff which nobody would want to read a book about anyway.”

Writing Book Couple

Author:Ned Beauman

“I guess the main thing I definitely don't enjoy is having a job which involves selling things. You become an author because you think you're good at writing. Not because you love to promote yourself. I enjoy some of it and I've had a really fun few years so basically I have nothing to complain about. But what I don't like is the thought that it's going to go on for the rest of my life.”

Thinking Writing Fun Enjoy Complaining Selling

Author:Ned Beauman

“Statistically, you don't have much chance of becoming president if you're not tall and fairly handsome or at least conventional-looking.”

President Chance

Author:Ned Beauman

“You couldn’t truly love anything if you didn’t hate at least something. Indeed, perhaps you couldn’t truly love anything if you didn’t hate almost everything.”

Ifs Hate

Author:Ned Beauman

“You are right that a man needs light like he needs bread, but a man needs a little darkness, too, if only so that he can sleep, and dream.”

Ifs Men Needs Littles Dream Light Sleep Darkness Bread Sleep And Dream

Author:Ned Beauman

“If I want to feel as if I'm being sucked down a fathomless gloomy tunnel for hours and hours then I have a complete set of Schopenhauer at home.”

Ifs Want Feels Home Hours Tunnels Gloomy

Author:Ned Beauman

“So intense was his sexual frustration that it had begun to feel like a life-threatening illness: testicular gout, libidinal gangrene.”

Feels Illness Intense Frustration Threatening Gout

Author:Ned Beauman

“I don't have a day job, so I read any time of day.”

Jobs Day Jobs Time Of Day

Author:Ned Beauman

“I read 'The Good Soldier' by Ford Madox Ford again every so often.”

Soldier Good Soldiers

Author:Ned Beauman

“I started my first novel when I was 10, and have produced thousands of pages of juvenilia since.”

Firsts Novel Pages

Author:Ned Beauman

“I would love to learn how to air kiss non-awkwardly.”

Air Kissing

Author:Ned Beauman

“I'm very finicky about when I'm in the right mood to write. So most days, I find some excuse not to do anything.”

Writing Excuse Mood

Author:Ned Beauman

“The simile has to match the tone of its surroundings and has to be like a little joke. Writing a simile that isn't funny on some level is quite hard.”

Writing Littles Hard Levels Jokes Tone Surroundings Simile

Author:Ned Beauman

“I always save a huge book for a flight, because then you read it at both airports and on the plane and by the time you get home you're a quarter of the way through and it doesn't feel so unmanageable any more.”

Way Feels Book Home Huge Flight Planes Quarters Airports

Author:Ned Beauman

“I was always determined that one way or another I would force a book on the world, even if I had to resort to writing one about a tabby cat who solves mysteries.”

Ifs World Way Writing Book Force Mystery Cat Solve Determined One Way Resorts

Author:Ned Beauman

“I'm reasonably good at talking onstage, but actually holding court in a pub is all to do with power dynamics which I don't think has anything to do with fiction.”

Thinking Fiction Talking Court Dynamics Pubs

Author:Ned Beauman

“Plot is tremendously important to me: I can't stand books where nothing happens, and I can't imagine ever writing a novel without at least one murder.”

Writing I Can Important Book Happens Novel Imagine Murder Things Happen Plot

Author:Ned Beauman

“There's never a bad time to put earplugs in. They're the kind of thing you can reject as a bit lame, but somebody told me to do start wearing earplugs and it turned out to be great advice.”

Kind Bits Advice Rejects Bad Times Lame Great Advice

Author:Ned Beauman

“Until I was 16, I read nothing but science fiction. I loved William Gibson and I still do. But my favourite book when I was growing up, for a long time, was 'Snow Crash' by Neal Stephenson, which I must have read about a dozen times when I was a teenager.”

Long Stills Book Fiction Growing Up Growing Long Time Science Fiction Snow Teenager Dozen Favourite Crash Favourite Book

Author:Ned Beauman

About the Author

Born: 1985
Known for: Novelist
Quotes: 33

Books & Sources

The Teleportation AccidentRelated source material

Venomous LumpsuckerRelated source material

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Ned Beauman Books

The Teleportation Accident

Venomous Lumpsucker

Related Quotes