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Quote by Lev Grossman

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Lev Grossman
Lev Grossman

Lev Grossman is an American novelist, best known for his fantasy novel series 'The Magicians'. His works blend literary depth with rich imagination, earning him widespread acclaim. more

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“An abuser can seem emotionally needy. You can get caught in a trap of catering to him, trying to fill a bottomless pit. But he's not so much needy as entitled, so no matter how much you give him, it will never be enough. He will just keep coming up with more demands because he believes his needs are your responsibility, until you feel drained down to nothing.”

NeedsGivingFeelsTryingBelieveMatterEnoughSeemsResponsibilityDemandCaughtTrapsEntitledPitsNeedyDrainedAbusersCatering
Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“The central attitudes driving the Water Torturer are: You are crazy. You fly off the handle over nothing. I can easily convince other people that you're the one who is messed up. As long as I'm calm, you can't call anything I do abusive, no matter how cruel. I know exactly how to get under your skin.”

PeopleKnowsLongI CanMatterWaterAttitudeCrazySkinsCalmDrivingHandleConvinceAbusiveMessed Up
Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“Physical aggression by a man toward his partner is abuse, even if it happens only once. If he raises a fist; punches a hole in the wall; throws things at you; blocks your way; restrains you; grabs, pushes, or pokes you; or threatens to hurt you, that's physical abuse. He is creating fear and using your need for physical freedom and safety as a way to control you.”

IfsMenWayNeedsHappensHurtWallCreatingAbuseRaisesSafetyPartnersHolesBlockAggressionFistsPokePhysical AbuseCreating Fear
Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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“The sense of ownership is one reason why abuse tends to get worse as relationships get more serious. The more history and commitment that develop in the couple, the more the abuser comes to think of his partner as a prized object. Possessiveness is at the core of the abuser's mindset, the spring from which all the other streams spout; on some level he feels that he owns you and therefore has the right to treat you as he sees fit.”

ThinkingFeelsReasonLevelsObjectsSeriousCoupleFitSpringCommitmentTreatsAbuseMindsetPartnersCoreReason WhyStreamsOwnershipAbusersPossessiveness
Author:Lundy Bancroft
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“It is not possible to be truly balanced in one's views of an abuser and an abused woman. As Dr. Judith Herman explains eloquently in her masterwork Trauma and Recovery, “neutrality” actually serves the interests of the perpetrator much more than those of the victim and so is not neutral. Although an abuser prefers to have you wholeheartedly on his side, he will settle contentedly for your decision to take a middle stance. To him, that means you see the couple's problems as partly her fault and partly his fault, which means it isn't abuse.”

MeanProblemWomenSidesInterestDecisionViewsImpossibleMiddleCoupleBalanceAbuseVictimFaultsTraumaRecoverySettlingBalancedDrsImpossibilityExplainingOppressorsEloquentStanceNeutralityAbusersPerpetratorsWholeheartedlyAbusive RelationshipAbused WomenRelationship ProblemWeak Women
Book:Why Does He Do That?: Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men
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