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Quote by Craig Ferguson

“I would prefer as a viewer to watch the mistakes. I am my own blooper reel, as it happens.”

Quote by Craig Ferguson

Author

English biography, 120-180 words more

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“So far rich people have been very quiet about the possibility of getting taxes raised on them, but that doesn't mean they won't get mad about it, it just means they don't know about it. Because it takes a while for bad news to reach a rich person. First their accountant has to tell the butler, who has to tell the servant, who wouldn't dare interrupt their game of croquet.”

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“They've found a link between chemicals in shampoo and obesity. If you're eating shampoo, your weight is the least of your concerns.”

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“Here in California, we passed a law against texting while driving. But there's no law preventing you from writing a letter while driving.”

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“I'm hooked on email. That's right, kids, I'm one of you.”

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“According to a new study, our email is not as safe as we thought. How do they know this? They've been reading my email.”

Knows Reading Study Safe Email

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“I don't know much about the Supreme Court. If it's anything like the Supreme Taco, it's like a regular court, but with extra sour cream.”

Ifs Knows Court Supreme Extras Cream Supreme Court Sour Tacos

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“The difference between a broadcaster and a host is that a host tells stories and dumb jokes, but a broadcaster can articulate deeper like, you know - things and stuff.”

Knows Stories Stuff Differences Like You Jokes Deeper Dumb Host Broadcasters

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“In Los Angeles on Black Friday, a woman pepper sprayed Wal-Mart shoppers who tried to cut in line. The police acted fast by immediately hiring her to get rid of peaceful protesters outside banking institutions all across the United States.”

States Black Lines United United States Cutting Police Institutions Peaceful Los Angeles Friday Banking Hiring Peppers Shoppers Black Friday

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“From 1934 to 1963, the biggest criminals in America ended up on Alcatraz. Nowadays they end up on Wall Street.”

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“And always the animals from each trip you bring back a gaze a pose a gesture that points to the truest of humanity better than images of humanity itself”

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