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11 Laws of Likability

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Michelle Tillis Lederman

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“You know, everyone says the duchess is such a terrible mistress, but you don't seem to be that afraid of her." "I'm not," Cinderella admitted. "I've seen real cruelty, and the duchess is not even close. She can be difficult, but her heart is in the right place. Besides, she likes Bruno, and since adopting him, she's been kind to me." "Maybe, but I think there's more to it than Bruno," determined Louisa. "You just seem so cheerful, Cinderella- cheerful yet sad. I don't know how to explain it, but I bet people find it difficult being angry with you. I wonder if that's why the duchess likes you so much. Even Aunt Irmina does, even if she won't admit it.”

CheerfulCinderellaLikable
Book:So This is Love
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“Garrance winks as Juju jumps onto my lap. "It appears that Juju likes you too." Feeling out of sorts, I stroke the cat's head, look down at him. He's weighing my thighs down, and I like the way it feels, all warm. I also love his loud purrs. He's nothing like a rat. "The big lug is kind of growing on me," I say, stroking his chin, and Garrance grins.”

CatJujuLikableBig Boy
Book:The Spice Master at Bistro Exotique
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“The Chair [Justice Peter McClellan, former Chair of the Royal Commission into Institutional Responses to Child Sexual Abuse] seemed to see where he was going with this. 'Cardinal, you keep referencing back to authority and structural responsibility, but it is the case, isn't it, that within the Church you would expect and indeed might I suggest the community would expect - that each priest would act responsibly, regardless of their position?" He was met again with some vintage obfuscation, capped off with a familiar Pell trope: you people just don't understand my Church. 'To understand the Catholic Church's structure and who has authority, you go to Church law, and according to the canon law of the Church, you can there identify the different levels of responsibility - it might be a jurisdictional responsibility; it might be a moral responsibility at different levels. But it's from the canon law that you decide what the situation is within the Church.' And here the Chair got to the nub of Pell's true thinking on this, the bubble he finds himself in, where the ordinary rules of morality, decency and even criminal responsibility are leavened to varying degrees by byzantine Church structures. (p.203)”

MoralityDecencyPersonal ResponsibilityGeorge PellCriminal ResponsibilityInstitutional Authority
Book:Cardinal: The Rise and Fall of George Pell
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“invalidation is crazy-making, and it is also at the root of gaslighting, where victims' feelings are purposely denied or manipulated in order to make them question their sanity.”

CrazyInsaneGaslightingPsychological AbuseInvalidationGaslightCrazy Making
Book:How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family
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“This term is used in the 1944 Ingrid Bergman film Gaslight, in which a husband purposefully drives his wife insane by flickering lights, making noises in the attic, and then claiming the very real experience was all in her head.”

GaslightingPsychological AbuseInvalidationGaslightHadlighted
Book:How to Talk to Your Kids about Your Divorce: Healthy, Effective Communication Techniques for Your Changing Family
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“I want to know why you don’t like me, Malloy. I like you, even if you do hit people.” He sighed. “I never said I didn’t like you, Mrs. Brandt.” Reasonable again. She wanted to smack him. “And why don’t you ever call me Sarah? You think I’m beautiful, but you never call me Sarah.” He muttered something she didn’t understand. “You do think I’m beautiful,” she insisted. “You said so!” “Yes, I do,” he said grudgingly. “And I do like you, Sarah. Now let’s talk about something else, because you’re going to be very embarrassed if you remember any of this conversation tomorrow.”

GaslightGaslight MysterySarah BrandtFrank Malloy
Book:Murder on Washington Square
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