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Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

“Would somebody please explain to me those signs that say, "No animals allowed except for Seeing Eye Dogs?" Who is that sign for? Is it for the dog, or the blind person?”

Quote by Jerry Seinfeld

Author

Jerry Seinfeld, born on April 29, 1954, is a renowned American comedian, screenwriter, and producer. Known for his unique humor style and witty dialogue, he is best known for his sitcom 'Seinfeld'. Seinfeld's deep insights into everyday life and unique perspectives on human relationships have won him the affection of audiences worldwide. more

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“If airline seat cushions are such great flotation devices, why don't you ever see anyone take one to the beach?”

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“Why is it when you turn on the TV you see ads for telephone companies, and when you turn on the radio you hear ads for TV shows, and when you get put on hold on the phone you hear a radio station?”

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“Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but okay to go the bathroom in a handicapped stall?”

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“Did you ever notice, when you are sitting at a red light, that when the person in front of you pulls up a couple of inches, you are compelled to move up too? Do we really think we are making progress toward our destination? "Whew, I thought we would be late, but now that I am nine inches closer, I can stop for coffee and a danish!"”

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“Isn't it weird that we drink milk, stuff designed to nourish baby cows? How did THAT happen? Did some cattleman once say, "Oh, man, I can't wait till them calves are done so I can get ME a hit of that stuff."”

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“Have you ever noticed how they keep improving your laundry detergent, but they still can't get those blue flakes out? Why do we trust them to get our clothes clean? These guys can't even get the DETERGENT white!”

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“If you have lost your life, remember that He promises that you will find it.”

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“I think of the love of God as a great river, pouring through us even as the waters pour through our ravine at floodtime. Nothing can keep this love from pouring through us, except of course our own blocking of the river. Do you sometimes feel that you have got to the end of your love for someone who refuses and repulses you? Such a thought is folly, for one cannot come to the end of what one has not got. We have no store of love at all. We are not jugs, we are riverbeds.”

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“Have you been tormented with fears and doubts? Bombarded with temptation to sin? Try praising the Lord, and watch Satan flee.”

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“Much of my experience of life has cost me a great price and I wish to use it for strengthening and comforting other souls.”

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