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Quote by Lewis Black

“These ballot initiatives remind us that America is the land where people are free to dream whatever they want, so long as that dream doesn't make Midwesterners feel icky!”

Quote by Lewis Black

Author

Lewis Black is a renowned American comedian known for his sharp wit and incisive humor. Born on August 30, 1948, he has been active in the comedy scene since the 1980s, gaining widespread recognition for his unique style of humor that often tackles social issues and current events with a humorous twist. more

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“Ninety percent of a shirt that not only was bright purple and green but with a design on it that, if you moved too quickly, might cause a seizure in an unsuspecting onlooker.”

Ifs Might Causes Design Percent Green Moved Shirts Ninety Purple Seizures Unsuspecting

Author:Lewis Black

“The citizen does not so much vote for a candidate as make a psychological purchase of him.”

Doe Citizens Vote Psychological Candidates

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“We forgave, followed and accepted because we liked the way he looked. And he had a pretty wife. Camelot was fun, even for the peasants, as long as it was televised to their huts.”

Way Long Fun Wife Accepted Peasants Huts Camelot

Book:The Selling of the President 1968

Source: The Selling of the President 1968

“In Afghanistan, there is a plan to build democracy; hundreds of thousands of troops are protecting it. There is a plan to rebuild and reconstruct there. But many thousands of Americans die from violence and poverty every year and we don't have a plan for reconstruction at home.”

Years Home Dies Poverty Democracy Violence Plans Afghanistan Troops Reconstruction

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“Photography is a very subtle thing. You must let the camera take you by the hand, as it were, and lead you into your subject.”

Hands Subjects Photography Cameras Subtle

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“It seems to me that while it is very important to get a striking picture of a line of smoke stacks or a row of dynamos, it is becoming more and more important to reflect that life that goes on behind these photographs. (1935)”

Important Seems Lines Behinds Goes On Becoming Photograph Smoke Becoming More

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“The sights I have just seen [at Buchenwald] are so unbelievable that I don't think I'll believe them myself until I've seen the photographs.”

Thinking Believe Sight Photograph Unbelievable Buchenwald

Author:Margaret Bourke-White

“Whats the worst that could happen?! The worst that could happen is he could cut off your legs and use them to make stilts that look like legs!”

Looks Use Happens Cutting Worst Legs Stilts

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“Zerts' are what I call desserts. 'Trée-trées' are entrées. I call sandwiches 'sammies,' 'sandoozles,' or 'Adam Sandlers.' Air conditioners are 'cool blasterz' with a 'z' - I don't know where that came from. I call cakes 'big ol' cookies.' I call noodles 'long-ass rice.' Fried chicken is 'fry-fry chicky-chick.' Chicken parm is 'chicky-chicky-parm-parm.' Chicken cacciatore? 'Chicky-cacc.' I call eggs 'pre-birds,' or 'future birds.' Root beer is 'super water.' Tortillas are 'bean blankets.' And I call forks 'food rakes.'”

“She broke up with me. Didn't really tell me why. Luckily when you're the guy, you can just tell people she's crazy. 'Hey, Tom, I heard you and Lucy broke up.' 'Yeah, man. Turns out, she's crazy.' That's what they always do on Entourage.”

People Men Guy Turns Heard Crazy Yeah Hey Broke Toms Lucy Broke Up Entourage

Author:Aziz Ansari