“Only in a true life or death scenario can you have mental clearness to know that you cannot feel guilty for surviving.” Quote by George Zimmerman
“I didn’t even cry, I was stunned. You know, and that’s just how fast life turns. It turns on a dime.” LifeTurnsTurn-onDimes Author:Sandra Lee
“Life expectancy in America is about 79, we should be able to live to 92. Somewhere along the line, we're leaving 13 years on the table. So my quest is -- how do we get those extra 13 years? And how do we make those extra 13 years good years?” LifeShouldYearsAbleAmericaLinesTablesLeavingExtrasQuestsExpectancyLife ExpectancyGood Years Author:Dan Buettner
“My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.” WantHumorKidsFunnyGrowsFamilyGrowing UpPrisonChairsElectricThumbsWardensElectric Chair Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“I'll tell you one thing, I know how to satisfy my wife in bed, yeah, I leave.” KnowsKnow HowWifeOne ThingBedYeahMy Wife Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“My sex life is terrible; my wife put a mirror over the dog's bed. Actually she did put a mirror over our bed. She says she likes to watch herself laugh.” Life IsSexWatchesLaughingWifeDogTerribleBedMirrorsMy WifeLikes Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, "How can I get my kite in the air?" He told me to run off a cliff.” MenRunningFamilyAirOld ManCliffsKitesNo Respect Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“My wife has to be the worst cook. I've got the only dog who begs for alka-seltzer.” WifeWorstDogMy WifeCooks Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“There's only one thing wrong with my wife's face - it shows.” ShowsHumorFunnyFacesWifeOne ThingMy Wife Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“I bought a perfect second car... a tow truck.” HumorFunnyPerfectCarTruckTow Author:Rodney Dangerfield
“...went to a bar for a few drinks. The bartender asked what I wanted. "Surprise me", I said. So he showed me a naked picture of my wife.” SaidWantedWifeDrinkSurpriseMy WifeBarsNakedSurprise MeBartender Author:Rodney Dangerfield