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Quote by Terri E Apter

“Old age is a strange country, and most of us enter it unwillingly.”

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Terri E. Apter is a British writer born on February 28, 1949. Her works span various fields, including psychology, gender studies, and literary criticism. more

“It is not however, adulthood itself, but parenthood that forms the glass shroud of memory. For there is an interesting quirk in the memory of women. At 30, women see their adolescence quite clearly. At 30 a woman's adolescence remains a facet fitting into her current self.... At 40, however, memories of adolescence are blurred. Women of this age look much more to their earlier childhood for memories of themselves and of their mothers. This links up to her typical parenting phase.”

Looks Self Age Form Mother Women Memories Interesting Childhood Remains Glasses Currents Links Parenthood Adulthood Phases Adolescence Typical Fitting Facets Quirks Shrouds

Author:Terri E Apter

“The family is constantly changing, as each member changes. Some changes we recognize as developments, and the pleasure they bringusually makes us more adaptable. Some changes threaten, or disappoint other members, who may try to resist the change, or punish someone for changing.”

Trying May Change Pleasure Development Members Disappoint Adaptable

Author:Terri E Apter

“Sexual activity, for women, has a history of vulnerability, in a way it simply does not have for men. The mother has to teach thishidden text to her daughter. The mother's warnings, her attempts to halt sexual development in her daughter, are not so much signs of disapproval or envy, but of fear.”

Men Way Doe Mother Teach Development Activity Daughter Envy Vulnerability Warning Halt Disapproval

Author:Terri E Apter

“Insults from an adolescent daughter are more painful, because they are seen as coming not from a child who lashes out impulsively,who has moments of intense anger and of negative feelings which are not integrated into that large body of responses, impressions and emotions we call 'our feelings for someone,' but instead they are coming from someone who is seen to know what she does.”

Knows Children Doe Moments Feelings Body Emotion Daughter Negative Response Painful Impression Intense Insult Integrated Lashes Negative Feelings

Author:Terri E Apter

“Adolescent girls were fighting a mother's interference because they wanted her to acknowledge their independence. Whatever resentment they had was not towards a mother's excessive concern, or even excessive control, but towards her inability to see, and appreciate, their maturing identity.”

Wanted Mother Girl Fighting Identity Concern Appreciate Independence Acknowledge Mature Resentment Adolescence Inability Interference

Author:Terri E Apter

“The adolescent does not develop her identity and individuality by moving outside her family. She is not triggered by some magic unconscious dynamic whereby she rejects her family in favour of her peers or of a larger society.... She continues to develop in relation to her parents. Her mother continues to have more influence over her than either her father or her friends.”

Doe Moving Mother Father Parent Magic Influence Identity Relation Individuality Unconscious Rejects Adolescence Peers Favour Moving Out

Author:Terri E Apter

“Parents are never forgiven for not giving just the right response at the appropriate moment. Or, rather, there are particular times in the adolescent's or young adult's life, when a certain response is needed, and this need is not met, and the failure to meet this need is forever remembered, and is never forgiven.”

Needs Giving Moments Young Certain Parent Forever Particular Needed Mets Adults Response Young Adult Remembered Appropriate Adolescence Forgiven Never Forgive

Author:Terri E Apter

“Parenting can be established as a time-share job, but mothers are less good "switching off" their parent identity and turning to something else. Many women envy the father's ability to set clear boundaries between home and work, between being an on-duty and an off-duty parent.... Women work very hard to maintain a closeness to their child. Father's value intimacy with a child, but often do not know how to work to maintain it.”

Knows Children Hard Home Jobs Mother Values Father Parent Ability Know How Clear Share Identity Duty Envy Boundaries Intimacy Closeness Switching Switching Off

Author:Terri E Apter

“The myth of independence from the mother is abandoned in mid- life as women learn new routes around the mother--both the mother without and the mother within. A mid-life daughter may reengage with a mother or put new controls on care and set limits to love. But whatever she does, her child's history is never finished.”

May Children Doe Care Mother Limits Daughter Independence Finished Myth Abandoned Routes

Author:Terri E Apter

“This is the hope of many adolescent girls--to capture a parent's heart with love for them as they are, as people. They reject thenotion of being loved just because they are the child of the parent. They want the parent to fall in love with them all over again, because being new, they deserve a new love.”

People Want Heart Children Fall Girl Parent Deserve Falling In Love Rejects Capture Being Loved

Author:Terri E Apter

Quote by Terri E Apter

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