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Quote by Frank Pittman

“Parents have subtle ways of humbling you, of reminding you of your origins, perhaps by showing up at the moment of your greatest glory and reminding you where you came from and demonstrating that you still have some of it between your toes.”

Quote by Frank Pittman

Author

Frank Pittman, born in 1935 in the United States, was a renowned psychiatrist and psychologist. His research focused on the fields of psychotherapy and interpersonal relationships, having a profound impact on modern psychotherapy. more

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“Parents vary in their sense of what would be suitable repayment for creating, sustaining, and tolerating you all those years, andwhat circumstances would be drastic enough for presenting the voucher. Obviously there is no repayment that would be sufficient . . . but the effort to call in the debt of life is too outrageous to be treated as anything other than a joke.”

Years Enough Would Be Life Is Parent Effort Circumstances Creating Jokes Debt Treated Sufficient Vary Outrageous Suitable Presenting Sustaining Drastic Vouchers Repayment

Author:Frank Pittman

“Some parents were awful back then and are awful still. The process of raising you didn't turn them into grown-ups. Parents who were clearly imperfect can be helpful to you. As you were trying to grow up despite their fumbling efforts, you had to develop skills and tolerances other kids missed out on. Some of the strongest people I know grew up taking care of inept, invalid, or psychotic parents--but they know the parents weren't normal, healthy, or whole.”

People Knows Trying Stills Whole Care Kids Turns Grows Process Parent Effort Growing Up Grew Healthy Skills Normal Grew Up Tolerance Despite Awful Helpful Strongest Imperfect Psychotic

Author:Frank Pittman

“Fathers who compete hard with their kids are monstrous. The father, for a throw-away victory, is sacrificing the very heart of hischild's sense of being good enough. He may believe he is making his son tough, as he was made tough by a similarly contending father, but he is only making his child desperate and mean like himself. Fathers must let their sons (and daughters) have their victories.”

Believe Heart May Mean Children Made Hard Enough Kids Father Sacrifice Son Victory Daughter Tough Be Good Desperate Good Enough Monstrous Son And Daughter Contending Being Good Enough

Author:Frank Pittman

“Becoming Father the Nurturer rather than just Father the Provider enables a man to fully feel and express his humanity and his masculinity. Fathering is the most masculine thing a man can do.”

Men Feels Humanity Father Can Do Becoming Masculinity Masculine Providers Fathering

Author:Frank Pittman

“In colonial America, the father was the primary parent. . . . Over the past two hundred years, each generation of fathers has hadless authority than the last. . . . Masculinity ceased to be defined in terms of domestic involvement, skills at fathering and husbanding, but began to be defined in terms of making money. Men had to leave home to work. They stopped doing all the things they used to do.”

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Author:Frank Pittman

“To insult a friend implies that you respect his masculinity enough to know he can take it without acting like a crybaby. The swapping of insults, like the fighting between brothers, becomes the seal of the male bonding.”

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Author:Frank Pittman

“Our ability to fall in love requires enough comfort with our masculinity to join it with someone's femininity and feel enhanced. .. . If our mother made us feel secure and proud in our masculinity, then we want to find that again in our wife. If we are really comfortable with our mother, we can even marry a woman who is a friend rather than an adversary, and form a true partnership.”

Ifs Want Feels Made Enough Form Mother Fall Ability Wife Proud Comfort Comfortable Falling In Love Secure Partnership Masculinity Femininity Adversaries

Author:Frank Pittman

“Once women invented farming, and began to keep and breed animals, they discovered the crucial function of the rooster and the henhouse. Fathers suddenly gained a function, and could do what only women had been able to do for all those millions of years--point at a child and say, "That is my son," "That is my daughter." Patriarchy quickly followed, beginning about five thousand years ago; a very short time in the development of our species, but covering all of recorded history.”

“Family life in Western society since the time of the Old Testament has been a struggle to maintain patriarchy, male domination, and double standards in the face of a natural drift towards monogamous bonding. Young men have been called upon to prove their masculinity by their willingness to die in warfare, and young women have been called upon to prove their femininity by their willingness to die for their man. Women have been asked to appear small, dumb, and helpless so men would feel big and strong, brave, and clever. It's been a trick.”

“Every boy was supposed to come into the world equipped with a father whose prime function was to be our father and show us how tobe men. He can escape us, but we can never escape him. Present or absent, dead or alive, real or imagined, our father is the main man in our masculinity.”

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Author:Frank Pittman