Home / Quotes / Quote by Emo Philips

Quote by Emo Philips

“My first job as a kid was going from door to door selling Christmas cards, to raise money for my grandmother's hip replacement. Because, you know... You break it, you buy it.”

Quote by Emo Philips

Author

Emo Philips, born on February 7, 1956, is a versatile entertainer known for his contributions to music, performance, and comedy. His unique style and humor have won him the affection of a wide audience. more

You May Also Like

“I think the whole concept of monotheism is a gift from the gods.”

Thinking Whole Concepts Monotheism

Author:Emo Philips

“I'm not wasting my time with any more non-straight-talking candidates.”

Talking Candidates My Time Wasting My Time

Author:Jesse Jackson

“I used to think I knew everything, but older you get the more you see other areas. If you could read everything about both sides, you'll pretty much be in the middle again, which is the state you had when you were totally ignorant. So my theory is if you maintain total ignorance - which isn't easy, but I try - you'll be just as far ahead as if you'd spent days and days reading about the whole issue. And you have that much extra time to play Pac-man.”

Ifs Thinking Men Trying States Play Whole Used Reading Easy Sides Issues Middle Ignorance Theory Areas Ignorant Extras Both Sides Pacs Extra Time

Author:Emo Philips

“All the nations of the earth must learn to live together in peace. Why be prejudiced against anyone because of their race, nationality, or creed? When there's so many real reasons to hate others.”

Real Reason Earth Together Hate Nations Race Creeds Nationality

Author:Emo Philips

“I'm learning Cuban. It's like Spanish, but with fewer words for luxury items.”

Luxury Fewer Items Cuban Luxury Items

Author:Emo Philips

“I'm not as good a swimmer as I used to be - thanks to evolution.”

Used Evolution Used To Be Thanks Swimmer

Author:Emo Philips

“I read that nine out of 10 women fantasize about having an unknown man leap through their bedroom window at night and make mad, passionate love to them. Who would think with those odds, I would now be facing 150 hours of community service.”

Thinking Men Night Community Hours Window Mad Passionate Nine Leap Odds Bedroom Passionate Love Community Service

Author:Emo Philips

“My sister gained 80 pounds expecting her baby. Well, you get nervous, waiting for those adoption papers to clear.”

Wells Waiting Clear Baby Paper Nervous Pounds My Sister Expecting Adoption Papers

Author:Emo Philips

“I saw a psychologist once because I thought I had depression. It cost me $100. When I left, I realised that there's nothing he could have said that would cheer me up as much as if I found a $100 bill on my way home.”

Ifs Way Said Home Found Left Saws Cost Bills My Way Cheer Realised Psychologist Way Home Cheer Me Up

Author:Emo Philips

“Now there's a seven-day waiting period to buy a gun. Who can stay mad that long?”

Long Waiting Periods Gun Mad Seven Seven Days

Author:Emo Philips