Home / Quotes / Quote by Felipe Esparza

Quote by Felipe Esparza

“Valentines Day is the Super Bowl of relationships. If you're alone that night you didn't make the cut.”

Quote by Felipe Esparza

Author

Felipe Esparza is an American comedian known for his unique style and Latinx background. Born on June 11, 1976, he gained prominence in the comedy scene since the early 2000s. Esparza's comedy delves into everyday life and cultural issues, offering viewers a unique perspective and laughter. more

You May Also Like

“I also had a stuttering problem. In a Mexican home they don't give you speech therapy; they don't even know what speech therapy is. They just get the belt. If there's a parrot in the house, you better talk better than the parrot.”

Ifs Knows Giving Problem Home House Speech Therapy Belts Mexican Parrots Stuttering Speech Therapy

Author:Felipe Esparza

“My mom cooked the same food every day - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was enchiladas, it was - tortillas, beans and meat. If it was burritos, it was still - tortillas, beans and meat.”

Ifs Stills Mom My Mom Meat Beans Burritos Tortillas Enchiladas

Author:Felipe Esparza

“I was born in Sinaloa, Mexico, along with two of my siblings. The rest were born here in the United States. I didn't know we were illegal until I was in the 8th grade. We would call other kids wetbacks, but we were the real wetbacks!”

Knows Two Real States Kids Born United United States Grades Illegal Mexico Sibling My Siblings

Author:Felipe Esparza

“I got jumped into a gang, but I never shot anybody or anything. I might have been in the car when something happened, but I was involved in the gangs just for the drugs. After a while, I just became an outcast of the gang because I just liked the drugs. I just wanted to do more drugs, anything you put in my hand.”

Has Beens Hands Might Wanted Happened Car Involved Drug Shots Might Have Been Gang Outcast

Author:Felipe Esparza

“I didn't know how to grab your best material and put it together into a comedy set. I would just choose subjects and do it onstage. That's what I learned. I didn't know how to put a set together.”

Knows Together Know How Comedy Subjects Materials

Author:Felipe Esparza

“I listened to my first comedy album in 6th grade. It was Bill Cosby. My brother and I would play it over and over on a Fisher Price record player. A friend in high school also introduced me to Richard Pryor. I wasn't writing material back then, but I would say funny stuff. I was good at making fun of people's moms. If I knew something personal about you, it would be used against you.”

People Ifs Writing Firsts Play Would Be School Used Fun Stuff Records Comedy Player Brother Materials Mom High School Bills Albums My Brother Grades Funny Stuff Record Players

Author:Felipe Esparza

“I used to sell marijuana to my son's mom's new husband. And then I would take that money and give it to her as child support.”

Giving Children Used Support Son Mom Husband Sells My Son Marijuana

Author:Felipe Esparza

“Remember: Super Bowl is the biggest day of the year for pizza delivery - so no matter what happens in the game, Peyton Manning wins.”

Years Matter Happens Remember Games Winning No Matter What Bowls Pizza Delivery Super Bowl Days Of The Year Peyton

Author:Frank Caliendo

“I love President Bush. I think it's great we have a president who always looks like he's looking directly into the sun.”

Thinking Looks President Sun President Bush

Author:Frank Caliendo

“Everything is awesome... Everything is cool when you're a part of a team.”

Author:Frank Caliendo