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Quote by Tommy Cooper

“Two fish in a tank, one says to the other - you drive I'll man the guns.”

Quote by Tommy Cooper

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Tommy Cooper was a renowned British comedian, known for his unique comedy style and slapstick performances. Born on March 19, 1921, he passed away on April 15, 1984. Cooper's exaggerated physical language and humorous dialogue won the affection of audiences worldwide, making him one of the most famous comedians of the 20th century. more

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“I cleaned the attic with the wife the other day. Now I can't get the cobwebs out of her hair.”

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“A man walked into the doctor's, The doctor said 'I haven't seen you in a long time' The man replied, 'I know I've been ill'.”

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“So I knocked on the door at this bed & Breakfast and a lady stuck her head out of the window and said: 'What do you want', I said, 'I want to stay here'. She said, 'Well stay there' and shut the window.”

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“Man went into a bar, he only had one arm. Guy sitting next to him said 'Hey, you've got your sleeve in my drink', man replied, 'There's no arm in it'”

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“I had a meal last night. I ordered everything in French, surprised everybody. It was a Chinese restaurant. I said to this Chinese waiter, 'Look, this chicken I got here is cold.' He said, 'It should be, it's been dead two weeks.'”

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“My dog was barking at everyone the other day. Still, what can you expect from a cross-breed.”

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“So I said to this train driver "I want to go to Paris". He said "Eurostar?". I said "I've been on telly but I'm no Dean Martin".”

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“Now you know those trick candles that you blow out and a couple of seconds later they come alight again, well the other day there was a fire at the factory that makes them.”

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“So I went to the Chinese restaurant and this duck came up to me with a red rose and says "Your eyes sparkle like diamonds". I said "Waiter, I asked for a-ROMATIC duck".”

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