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Quote by Nikesh Shukla

“Anand finished up his cola cube transaction. I stepped up and slammed three pound coins on the counter like an oppressed inner-city youth born with the skills of rhythm and rhyme.”

Book:Coconut Unlimited

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Coconut Unlimited

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Nikesh Shukla

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“Reason, Observation and Experience — the Holy Trinity of Science — have taught us that happiness is the only good; that the time to be happy is now, and the way to be happy is to make others so. This is enough for us. In this belief we are content to live and die. If by any possibility the existence of a power superior to, and independent of, nature shall be demonstrated, there will then be time enough to kneel. Until then, let us stand erect.”

Reason Inspiration Happiness Science Hope Belief Nature Experience Observation Supernatural Trinity Content Holy Trinity

Book:On The Gods and Other Essays

Source: On The Gods and Other Essays

“Like a good-looking John Merrick, mine was a face that looked really shit.”

Humour

Book:I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

Source: I, Partridge: We Need to Talk About Alan

“Stone me, what a life!”

Life Humour Misery

Author:Tony Hancock

“Three,' reckoned the captain, 'ourselves make seven, counting Hawkins, here. Now, about honest hands?' Most likely Trelawney's own men," said the doctor; 'those he had picked up for himself, before he lit on Silver.' Nay,' replied the squire. 'Hands was one of mine.' I did think I could have trusted Hands,' added the captain.”

Humor Humour Wit Pun Pirates Wordplay

Book:Treasure Island

Source: Treasure Island

“When will the Home Office realize that when judges retire, not only are they sent home for the rest of their lives, but the only people they have left to judge are their innocent wives.' 'So what are you recommending?'asked Alex as they walked into the drawing room. 'That judges should be shot on their seventieth birthday, and their wives granted a royal pardon and given their pensions by a grateful nation.' 'I may have come up with a more acceptable solution,' suggested Alex. 'Like what? Making it legal to assist judges' wives to commit suicide?' 'Something a little less drastic,' said Alex.”

Law Humour Judges

Book:A Prisoner of Birth

Source: A Prisoner of Birth

“Oh be careful! There they go again!" said the old queen as his string broke spilling his balls over the floor.... "Stop them will you, James, you worthless old shit! Don't just stand there and let the master's balls roll into the coal-bin!”

Humour

Book:Naked lunch

Source: Naked lunch

“Here's a health to our Captain, so gallant and free Whether stuck on a rock or asleep 'neath a tree Or rolled in the arms of some nymph of the sea Which is where we would all like to be, man!”

Humour

Book:The Penelopiad

Source: The Penelopiad

“Necessity is a mother.”

Humour

Book:The Night of the Gun

Source: The Night of the Gun

“Do not oversleep and miss the school bus- you'll be late. That's a habit teachers generally don't appreciate. Never tell your friends at school that you still wet your bed. They are sure to tease you, and you'll wish that you were dead. Never call your teacher a name when she's not near you. Teachers' ears are excellent, so they can always hear you. Do not read a textbook when your hands aren't clean-it's tricky to separate the pages when the pages get real sticky. When you go out for a team it's always wise to practice. When you are a substitute, the bench can feel like cactus. Do not copy homework from a friend who is a dummy. If you do, I'm sure that you will get a grade that's crummy. And if your report card's bad, don't blame it on your buddy. Kiss up to your parents quick, or they might make you study.”

Humour School Rules

Author:Bruce Lansky

Quote by Nikesh Shukla

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