“And if ten percent of men are gay and twenty percent of men are Chinese, what are the odds that a men chosen at random spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees.” IfsMenHumorFunnyGayTenPercentTwentiesChosenChineseKneesOddsFree Time Author:Bo Burnham
“I stopped and I thought, 'What would Jesus do?' So I didn't exist.” HumorFunnyJesus Author:Bo Burnham
“People ask me all the time, ALL the time, they say the same exact thing. They say, 'Bo, you're an artist... how do we fix Africa?'” PeopleHumorFunnyArtistAsksAsk Me Author:Bo Burnham
“All you god damn dirty Catholics can cath-o-lick my balls.” HumorFunnyBallsCatholicDirtyDamn Author:Bo Burnham
“I'm gay for Jesus, fill me with your grace. Pour your love all over me, but please aim away from my face.” HumorFunnyFacesJesusGracePleaseGayAim Author:Bo Burnham
“I'm a stand up comic and I always sit and slouch, and I got my girlfriend pregnant on my sterile uncles pull-out couch.” HumorFunnyComicGirlfriendPregnantUnclesCouchesMy Girlfriend Author:Bo Burnham
“Do you know what the good side of crack is? If you're up at the right hour, you can get a VCR for $1.50. You can furnish your whole house for $10.95.” IfsKnowsWholeHumorFunnyHouseSidesHoursCracksDo You KnowVcr Author:Chris Rock
“Actually, I think all addiction starts with soda. Every junkie did soda first. But no one counts that. Maybe they should. The soda connection is clear. Why isn't a presidential commission looking into this? Or at least some guys from the National Carbonation Council.” ThinkingShouldFirstsHumorFunnyGuyClearConnectionsAddictionPresidentialCouncilJunkieSoda Author:Chris Rock
“I was at Michael Jackson's house, and this kid runs out, 'Wait, save me!'” HumorRunningKidsFunnyHouseWaitingSave Me Author:Chris Rock
“Not a Harvard-type education, just a not-sticking-up-a-liquor-store-type education.” HumorFunnyTypeStoresHarvardLiquorLiquor Stores Author:Chris Rock