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Quote by Demetri Martin

“I don't think I ever wrote a song. I can write a lot of jokes, but when I try to write lyrics they're the most direct, non-figurative words, like, 'I like you, I like you,'... and that's it, for the whole song. People would go, 'Ooh, this guy's Dylan or something.' It gives me a lot more respect for songwriters, actually.”

Quote by Demetri Martin

Author

Demetri Martin is an American comedian, writer, and actor known for his unique and witty humor style. He is recognized for his sharp wit and satirical commentary, often performing in television shows, movies, and stage performances. Born on May 25, 1973, Martin's career began in New York comedy clubs. more

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“I call it 'new forms'. When you're starting out, they ask you to do four or five minute sets, but once you're a headliner, you do like 90 minutes. I try to think of different things to divvy up the show, like doing drawings, playing music... I gotta carry the show, that's the problem.”

Thinking Trying Different Shows Problem Form Asks Five Four Minutes Starting Drawing Different Things Five Minutes Playing Music Starting Out

Author:Demetri Martin

“I care about politics, but I have a tough time making comedy out of it. I was so happy to have a chance to be on The Daily Show, and I think Jon Stewart's so funny... but mostly in my own comedy, I care about less relevant things.”

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“I believe if there is any place left where the humanity is still visible, it can not be anywhere else than in an Islamic society. Time would come when the world would be obliged to accept this reality.”

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“The question is, 'how bad at sports were you as a kid?' I grew up near where they film Jersey Shore. If you weren't tan, muscular, and book-averse, you were a dork and a nerd and a geek and stuff. I remember being into Gary Larsen, Stephen Wright, Peter Sellers.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“I got myself a really nice nib pen, with like 15 kinds of India Ink, and tons of different nibs; I think I was just procrastinating, like, once I have the right nib, the book is just going to jump right out of my fingertips... but then it just ended up looking like the shitty drawings that I usually do.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“How many of you are creative? I don't know, but for me, when you make a bunch of things over time and then you keep them... you forget. I look through my sketchbooks and I'm an audience for myself.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“I still like paper books. Like, book is a flammable object. After you read it, you could use it to get warm. Or it could become a pile of napkins.”

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Author:Demetri Martin

“Sometimes heckling can almost help a set, because it ratchets up the tension in the room... can even bring things to a climax.”

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“How to be a bouncer: be an asshole; stand near a door.”

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“One thing I learned is that it's never OK to walk through a cemetery dressed as a mummy - even if that was a shortcut on the way to the costume party.”

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Author:Demetri Martin