“Apparently they're going to bring in 'Super Asbos'. But 'Asbos' already sound too cool. Teenagers see them as a badge of honour. They should call them 'Gaybos' or 'Bender Badges'.” ShouldHumorFunnySoundTeenagerHonourBadgesToo Cool Author:Frankie Boyle
“What was wrong with train toilet doors that just locked, instead of this multiple choice system? If anything goes wrong, you'll be sitting there while the whole toilet wall slowly slides away, unveiling you like a prize on a quiz show. For 500 points, a shitting woman!” IfsWholeShowsHumorFunnyChoicesDoorsWallSittingTrainPrizeLockedMultipleToiletsSlidesAnything GoesQuizMultiple ChoiceUnveilingQuiz Show Author:Frankie Boyle
“I always wondered about that woman who had that face transplant. If you went to bed with her, would that technically count as a threesome?” IfsHumorFunnyFacesBedTransplantsThreesome Author:Frankie Boyle
“Recent surveys show 3 out of 10 men have a problem with premature ejaculation. The rest just didn't really think it was a problem!” ThinkingMenShowsProblemHumorFunnySurveysPrematureEjaculationPremature Ejaculation Author:Frankie Boyle
“The English are worried about the Euro being brought in because of loss of national identity and rising prices. In Scotland, people are just worried in case they have to close Poundstretcher.” PeopleHumorFunnyLossCasesIdentityWorriedRisingScotlandEuroNational IdentityRising Prices Author:Frankie Boyle
“Jordan ran the London marathon to help raise money for the blind. After jogging that far with her body, I'm surprised she hasn't joined them!” HelpingBodyHumorFunnyRaisesBlindLondonRanMarathonJordanJogging Author:Frankie Boyle
“That should be the anti-speeding advert. It should be footage of Richard Hammond trying to remember his own wedding day.” ThinkingShouldTryingHumorFunnyRememberSpeedingWedding DayAdverts Author:Frankie Boyle
“The East End of Glasgow is like the Olympics. Lots of foriegners in tracksuits struggling to speak English.” EndsHumorFunnySpeakStruggleEastOlympicsSpeak EnglishGlasgow Author:Frankie Boyle
“I live in a flat with 3 women, I call it surround sound. I keep the ugly one behind the sofa as a woofer.” HumorFunnySoundBehindsUglyFlatsSurroundSofasSurround Sound Author:Frankie Boyle
“Congratulations you're 18!... On a list of 20 people I'm going to kill.” PeopleHumorFunnyListsCongratulations Author:Frankie Boyle