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Quote by Jim Carrey

“If we (Lauren and Jim) ever get married, we're just going to put helmets on, run into each other from a hundred yards, and smash together like rams”

Quote by Jim Carrey

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Jim Carrey

Jim Carrey, born on January 17, 1962, is a renowned Canadian actor, comedian, and comedy screenwriter. Known for his exaggerated performance style and unique comedic talent, he has been nominated for multiple Oscars and is best known for his roles in 'The Mask' and 'Forrest Gump'. more

“I always said if I ever get married, I would tell my woman - I love Michael Jordan, I am a Michael Jordan fanatic - I said, 'Michael Jordan is the only athlete you can sleep with and I wouldn't get mad, as long as you got something signed. You gotta bring back a ball, a hat or something. You can't just give away that sh*t for free.'”

Ifs Giving Long Said Sleep Married Balls Mad Athlete Hats Fanatics Jordan Funny Marriage

Author:Aries Spears

“God, I hope he dies the night before one of his kids get married.”

Kids Night Dies Married Funny Marriage

Author:Jim Norton

“If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.”

Ifs Want Guy Married Vow Funny Marriage I Want A Guy

Author:Sam Kinison

“My wife uses fabric softener. I never knew what that stuff was for. Then I noticed women coming up to me, sniffing, then saying under their breath, "Married!" and walking away. Fabric Softeners are how our wives mark their territory. We can take off the ring, but it's hard to get that April fresh scent out of your clothes.”

Hard Use Stuff Wife Walking Married Clothes Mark Breaths My Wife Rings Territory Fabric Scent April Funny Marriage Walking Away Sniffing

Author:Andy Rooney

Quote by Jim Carrey

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