“I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.”
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Famous Sam Kinison Quotes
“John Goodman isn't fat. He's in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.”
“How does a guy look at another guy's hairy ass, and find love?”
“You know what the problem is with world hunger? We've been sending them food.”
“Folks, I've been straight for seventeen days... Not all in a row.”
“I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years.”
“I want to show people that there's a side of myself other than just the outrageous comedian.”
“My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!”
“If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.”
“There's no happy ending to cocaine. You either die, you go to jail, or else you run out.”
“Stand-up comedy is an art form and it dies unless you expand it.”
“AIDS is a horrible disease, and the people who catch it deserve compassion.”
“If I've learned one thing, it's 'don't tell the truth.' Lies keep you together.”
“Real comedy doesn't just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.”
“Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.”