“They don't play the trombone like the tuba anymore. I blame it on canned tunafish.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“I'm so good at math that you can ask me any question, any equation, and I'll convert it into trumpet sounds with my mouth. If it's tough enough, I may answer with Dizzy Gillespie noises.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“The strings on a guitar are like fishing lines, and I strum them out at sea. Each string has a distinct sound and flavor, but the most popular with the sharks is Leftover Meatloaf, which sounds like Color Me Badd’s 1991 song “I Wanna Sex You Up.”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“Self-driving cars are so lonely. Are you really going to use all that extra commute time to binge-watch Netflix? Why not hire me to sit next to you and whistle all your favorite tunes?”
Source: There are Two Typos of People in This World: Those Who Can Edit and Those Who Can't
“All my life I’ve been going in circles. I bypass zeroes.”
Source: Yet Another New Land
“Music had given him new stories, one that unfolded from his fingers, that he could write himself into with every played note”
Source: Crooked Kingdom
“The world is getting more violent, and we need to be prepared. I once trained for a fight by pushing buttons in an elevator. Of course, it was a Saxophone-FREE environment, which favors my physical combat approach.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“Piano ducks swimming make noises like drowning saxophones. I taught them how to Mozart like powdered Michael Phelps on the bottom of a crushed box of cereal.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“I believe medieval cathedrals are not just overly ornate buildings with intricate designs to please the eyes. I believe they are giant dormant sound machines, and if you were to find the On Button on one, it would probably start playing Celine Dion's greatest hits.”
Source: I design saxophone music in blocks, like Stonehenge
“Once we are born, we begin to forget
The very reason we cane
But you I'm sure I've met
Long before the night the stars went out
We're meeting up again”
Source: Surrender: 40 Songs, One Story