“Sure I may look adjusted, but I can't function in normal society because most of you are too stupid.” Quote by Daniel Tosh
“If it weren't for men, this planet would be overrun with giant spiders.” IfsMenWould BePlanetsGiantsSpidersSpider Man Author:Daniel Tosh
“I don't believe space exists. You're not gonna put a camera on a roomba, stick it in the desert, and tell me it's Mars.” BelieveSpaceCamerasSticksDon't BelieveDesertMars Author:Daniel Tosh
“My favorite thing to steal is a kiss. You can get arrested for it but they can't force you to give it back.” GivingForceKissingMy FavoriteStealingArrestedFavorites Things Author:Daniel Tosh
“Fifty Shades Of Grey proved you can write about a dude choking women and shoving stuff up their butts but heaven forbid if you tell a legitimate joke about it. Sure I doubled the number of feminists who hate me, but I also doubled the number of shows I have on TV. No regrets.” IfsWritingShowsHateHeavenStuffNumbersTvsRegretJokesFeministFiftyShadeGreyChokeNo RegretsHate MeFifty ShadesShades Of Grey Author:Daniel Tosh
“No matter how flat you make your pancakes, it still has two sides.” StillsTwoMatterSidesFlatsTwo SidesPancakes Author:Daniel Tosh
“I always find it kind of embarrassing, kind of funny, and kind of exciting. In New York I'm recognized a lot, although nobody says anything. You know, they stare at you just a second too long. But in Paris it's not as commonplace to be recognized.” KnowsKindLongNew YorkExcitingStaringParisSay AnythingEmbarrassingCornyCommonplace Author:Marc Jacobs
“Being a white boxer is like being a republican. No matter how hard you work, you'll always lose because of the Mexicans.” MatterHardLosesWhiteRepublicanBoxers Author:Daniel Tosh
“You can accept that things are awful and still have a sense of humor about it.” StillsAcceptingAcceptanceAwfulSense Of Humor Author:Daniel Tosh
“A gynecologist is the dentist for the downstairs mouth.” MouthsDentistGynecologists Author:Daniel Tosh