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Quote by Conan O'Brien

“President Bush got an early Christmas gift. This week, President Bush was chosen as 'Person of the Year' by Time magazine. Not only that, Martha Stewart was chosen as person of the year by Doing Time magazine.”

Quote by Conan O'Brien

Author

Conan O'Brien, born on April 18, 1963, is a renowned talk show host from the United States. Known for his unique sense of humor and engaging interaction with audiences, he has hosted several popular talk show programs. more

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“Martha Stewart published her recipe for disaster -- mix one part arrogance with two parts incompetence, simmer in the juices and then serve hot in the can.”

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Author:Jay Leno

“Tough times for Martha Stewart. Yesterday, Martha Stewart reported to her parole officer and had to take a mandatory urine test for cocaine and marijuana. Martha was found to be drug-free and her urine was found to be a lovely yellow saffron.”

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Author:Conan O'Brien

“As you know President Bush has been traveling around the country trying to sell his new Social Security plan. He wants to take our retirement money and invest it in the stock market. He says nothing can go wrong. I'll mention that to Martha Stewart the next time I see her.”

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Author:Jay Leno

“I have a very large forehead. I have a pronounced skull. Maybe producers think that there is a lot going on up in there.”

Thinking Producers Foreheads Skulls

Author:Neil Patrick Harris

“Martha Stewart was convicted of four counts of lying and obstruction of justice and could serve up to 20 years in Congress.”

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Author:Craig Kilborn

“Martha Stewart was found guilty on all charges. You know what that means, stripes are in this year.”

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Author:Jay Leno

“Earlier today, the jury at the Martha Stewart trial reached a verdict. Martha was found guilty on all charges. In a related story, there's a huge sale at K-Mart.”

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Author:Conan O'Brien

“This is serious, if Martha gets the maximum sentence on all counts, she could serve 20 years in prison. Of course, you have to take off time off for good behavior, which means 20 years in prison.”

Ifs Years Mean Courses Serious Behavior Prison Sentences Maximum Time Off Good Behavior

Author:Conan O'Brien

“Federal authorities have informed Martha Stewart's lawyers she will be indicted for her role in the ImClone insider trading scandal. Good news for Martha - stripes are back in this year.”

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Author:Craig Kilborn

“Yes! We finally captured Martha Stewart. You know, with all the massive and almost completely unpunished fraud perpetrated on the public by companies like Enron, Global Crossing, and Tyco we finally got the ring leader. Maybe now we can lower the nation's terror alert to periwinkle.”

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Author:Jon Stewart