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Quote by Argus Hamilton

“President Clinton broke ground Saturday for the World War II memorial in Washington. He'll never have the military's full respect. However, after surviving ten female accusers, he's been made an honorary member of the Tailhook Association.”

Quote by Argus Hamilton

Author

Argus Hamilton is a renowned comedian, born in 1951. His career began in the 1980s, and he is known for his unique sense of humor and satirical commentary. Hamilton has worked as a writer and actor on several comedy shows, including 'The Daily Show' and 'The Tonight Show with Jay Leno'. His work often involves political and social issues, known for its wit and sharpness. more

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“Chinese president Jiang Zemin met with former Bill Clinton in Hong Kong Wednesday. What a contrast. One is a ruthless communist who gains popularity by damaging the United States, while the other guy runs China.”

States Running Guy President United United States Mets Gains Bills Clinton China Former Chinese Communist Contrast Popularity Ruthless Other Guys Wednesday Hong Kong

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Former South Africa President Nelson Mandela announced Tuesday he will begin writing his autobiography. He spent 25 years in prison before being elected to public office. In America, we do it the other way around.”

Way Writing Years America President Office Prison South Former South Africa Autobiography Tuesday Nelson Public Office

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Bill and Hillary will spend Easter with her brothers Hugh and Tony and Roger Clinton. They have a family ritual at all holiday dinners. After they sit down, they hold hands, close their eyes, and get their stories straight.”

Stories Hands Eye Brother Bills Clinton Dinner Holiday Ritual Easter Roger Holding Hands

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary Clinton ripped FBI Director Louis Freeh on Wednesday. She said she can't understand how FBI documents could vanish and then mysteriously reappear. She has to say that or she'd be thrown out of the Magician's Society.”

Said Directors Clinton Thrown Documents Magician Fbi Ripped Wednesday

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary Clinton flew with President Bush to New York City on Tuesday. She was amazed at the changes aboard Air Force One. For eight years she believed that flight attendants couldn't wear clothes because it made the plane too heavy.”

Years Made Force President Cities Air New York Clothes Clinton Heavy Eight Flight Planes New York City Amazed President Bush Flew Tuesday Air Force Flight Attendant Air Force One

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary showed off a new set of White House china at the mansion's 200th birthday dinner Thursday. She said she helped design it. It's thanks to her that all the White House china looks like it's been glued back together.”

Looks Said Together House White Design China Dinner Thanks White House Back Together Mansions Thursday

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary Clinton began a New York thank-you tour Friday by calling for the abolition of the Electoral College. No wonder Arkansas never liked her. She hasn't been in office three days and already she's an abolitionist.”

Three Wonder New York College Calling Office Clinton Friday Abolition Arkansas Abolitionist Electoral College

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Hillary Clinton will travel to Vietnam with the president this Friday. It's a fact that at the height of the war in 1971, she tried to enlist in the Marines, but they turned her down. Apparently we weren't that mad at the Viet Cong.”

War Facts President Mad Clinton Height Vietnam Friday Marine Viet Cong

Author:Argus Hamilton

“Secret Service agents detained an Iowa man with a gun who happened to be walking in a Des Moines park where President Bush was jogging. Were they out of their minds? White guys with guns put Bush in the White House.”

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Author:Argus Hamilton

“Jenna Bush was cited for underage drinking in Austin Friday. Her dad warned her that too much partying at school could cost her a good career. At $400,000, he's making the lowest salary of any of his Yale classmates.”

School Party Careers Too Much Dad Cost Drinking Lowest Friday Salary Yale Austin Classmates Underage Drinking

Author:Argus Hamilton