“A commander in chief ought to say to himself several times a day: If the enemy should appear on my front, on my right, on my left, what would I do? And if the question finds him uncertain, he is not well placed, he is not as he should be, and he should remedy it.” IfsShouldWellsLeftEnemyFrontsOughtChiefsRemedyUncertainCommandersCommander In Chief Book:Napoleon in his own words from the French of Jules Bertaut Source: Napoleon in his own words from the French of Jules Bertaut
“Never repeat a rumor before you have verified it. And if it is true, hold your tongue all the more.” IfsTongueRepeatsRumor Author:Selma Lagerlöf
“The TSA's airport body scanners have been shown to be so ineffective, the Homeland Security chairman suggested using traditional metal detectors. While LaGuardia will continue to just have a scarecrow dressed as a cop.” Has BeensBodySecurityTraditionalMetalsCopAirportsChairmanHomelandHomeland SecurityScarecrowTsaMetal Detectors Author:Jimmy Fallon
“The White House is worried about Joe Biden's potential run for president, and a source says they fear that it wouldn't have the right outcome. That's right, they think he might win.” ThinkingMightRunningHouseWinningPresidentWhiteSourceWorriedOutcomesWhite HouseBiden Author:Jimmy Fallon
“This week the Obama administration warned China to remove its secret agents from the U.S. Then in the middle of Obama's announcement a plant behind him got up and walked away.” SecretBehindsWeekMiddlePlantChinaAgentsAdministrationRemoveAnnouncementsSecret Agent Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Apparently President Obama's favorite cocktail is a martini. When asked how he likes it, he said, 'On the beach, in Hawaii, in 2017.'” SaidPresidentLikesBeachPresident ObamaHawaiiCocktailsMartini Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Donald Trump is the grandson of German immigrants. Don't worry. The last time a German guy with crazy hair took over a country, everything turned out fine.” CountryLastsGuyWorryCrazyHairFineTrumpImmigrantsLast TimeGrandson Author:Conan O'Brien
“There are reports that if Joe Biden runs for president, he would promise to serve for only one term - because nothing says confidence like promising your presidency would be over quickly.” IfsWould BeRunningPresidentTermPromiseReportsPresidencyBiden Author:Jimmy Fallon
“Jeb Bush cheated on his diet and had a fried Snickers bar, pork on a stick, and a beer. Jeb Bush said he ate it so at least he could see some of his numbers go up.” SaidNumbersSticksBarsBeerDietsCheatedPorkCheated OnSnickers Author:Conan O'Brien
“Chris Christie said he will top Donald Trump's Iowa State Fair helicopter entrance by riding in on a pony. As a result, all the ponies in Iowa have gone into hiding.” SaidStatesResultsGoneTrumpFairsHidingRidingEntrancesIowaHelicoptersPoniesChristie Author:Conan O'Brien