Best Tsa Quotes | Short & Famous Sayings

“The TSA must think we're mushrooms. You know, the way they are trying to keep us in the dark, and the way they keep feeding us a fertilizing agent that comes from the south end of a north-bound cow.”

Freedom Flying Tsa

Author:Douglas Wilson

“Or the woman in front of me in the security line who asked if they would put her cat, Dave, through the luggage X-ray machine because she wanted to see if he'd eaten a necklace.”

Humor Security Cat Woman Luggage Machine Airport Tsa Airport Security Necklace X Ray

Book:Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

Source: Furiously Happy: A Funny Book About Horrible Things

“Seurity!" I yelled. "I'm being harassed!" Security officers swarm around me and one orders me to step inside the small office area. "What's the problem here?" the man behind the desk asks the TSA officer. "She's harassing me, and I feel that I'm being discriminated against because of my intelligence level," I say. The man looks at me. "What?" "This woman attempted to engage me in idiotic conversation and I'm psychologically incapable of reacting in a positive way to such foolishness and we had an altercation after she threatened to throw away my ChapStick.”

Chick Lit Tsa Ace Jones

Book:Down and Out in Bugtussle: The Mad Fat Road to Happiness

Source: Down and Out in Bugtussle: The Mad Fat Road to Happiness

“Go to any airport in this country and you’ll see how well our government is dealing with the terrible danger you’re in. TSA staffers are wanding 90-year-old ladies in wheelchairs, and burrowing through their suitcases. Toddlers are on the no-fly list. Lipsticks are confiscated. And it’s all done with the highest seriousness. It’s a show of protection and it stirs the fear pot, giving us over and over an image of being in grave personal peril, needing Big Brother to make sure we’re safe.”

Government Military Flying Tsa

Author:Ann Medlock

“he TSA must think we're mushrooms. You know, the way they are trying to keep us in the dark, and the way they keep feeding us a fertilizing agent that comes from the south end of a north-bound cow.”

Freedom Tsa

Author:Doug Wilson

“Approximately half the airport passengers in the TSA gate area have no airline tickets because their airplanes have landed and their tickets have expired. Do you see the police officers harassing them out of the gate area because they are no longer ticketed passengers?”

Tickets Law Enforcement Passengers Legal Police Officers Airport Expired Tsa Harassing Ticketed

Author:Steven Magee

“Traveling through airports with white powders may get you flagged by TSA as a potential drugs dealer!”

Potential Airports Traveling Supplements Amino Acids Tsa Drugs Dealer Flagged White Powders

Author:Steven Magee

“Going through international airport security with two prosthetic legs and a steel plate in your head isn't exactly a piece of cake, but it's easier than going through with a turban.”

Racism Tsa

Book:Phantom Pains

Source: Phantom Pains

“I want to take TSA to the next level.”

Want Next Levels Next Level Tsa

Author:John S. Pistole

“I want to improve TSA's counterterrorism focus through intelligence and cutting edge technology, support the TSA workforce, and strengthen the agency's relationships with stakeholders and the traveling public. All of these priorities are interconnected and are vital to TSA's mission - and I would say, all of our collective mission.”

Want Technology Support Focus Cutting Edges Missions Priorities Agency Collectives Workforce Interconnected Cutting Edge Stakeholder Counter Terrorism Tsa

Author:John S. Pistole

“I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA put it, "Hope you like Amtrak!”

Boys Heard Baby Birth Germany Jihad Baby Boy Tsa Amtrak

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“I love trains. It's the only way to travel anymore where it doesn't involve a TSA agent slowly tracing the curve of my inner thigh.”

Way Train Agents Curves Thighs Tracing Tsa

Author:Bill Maher

“The TSA is under fire for major security lapses. The TSA has let through pipe bombs, knives, and the last three Nicolas Cage movies.”

Lasts Three Fire Security Majors Bombs Knives Cages Pipe Lapses Tsa

Author:Conan O'Brien

“I've got a lot of folks who want to get rid of TSA, a bunch of them.”

Want Folks Bunch Tsa

Author:Mike Rogers

“The TSA's airport body scanners have been shown to be so ineffective, the Homeland Security chairman suggested using traditional metal detectors. While LaGuardia will continue to just have a scarecrow dressed as a cop.”

Has Beens Body Security Traditional Metals Cop Airports Chairman Homeland Homeland Security Scarecrow Tsa Metal Detectors

Author:Jimmy Fallon

“While Admiral Neffenger is an impressive man, it is naive and dangerous to pretend installing one director can heal what ails TSA, the Department of Homeland Security needs to admit that it has a crisis of bureaucratic complacency - lacking an overarching vision and coherent measures of success and failure.”

“I did learn something interesting [while at the Atlanta airport]. You have to be a member of the TSA in order to legally perform a cavity search. My apologies to the staff of Cinnabon, but you guys should really keep that extra frosting where the customers can find it.”

Should Guy Order Interesting Members Customers Extras Apology Staff Airports Atlanta Something Interesting Tsa

Author:Stephen Colbert

“We're not trying to harass the average American. We need to convert this now to a risk-based system, with TSA concentrating and focusing on intelligence, on security, setting up again the parameters of which we do this.”

Needs Trying Risk Security Average Setting Settings Concentrating Parameters Tsa

Author:John Mica

“Why is it that we all - myself included - believe these stories? Why are we so quick to assume that the TSA is a bunch of jack-booted thugs, officious and arbitrary and drunk with power? It's because everything seems so arbitrary, because there's no accountability or transparency in the DHS.”

Believe Stories Seems Assuming Bunch Drunk Accountability Arbitrary Transparency Thug Tsa

Author:Bruce Schneier

“The TSA tears through your bags at the airport and the NSA watches what books you buy and what you say over the telephone and online. It doesn't feel like anything is private anymore.”

Feels Book Watches Tears Bags Online Telephones Airports Nsa Tsa

Author:Sandra Cisneros

“The travel is a lot uglier than it once was with TSA and the deregulation of the airline services. These planes are getting smaller for my 6" 2' frame.”

Planes Airline Deregulation Tsa

Author:James Young

“What we're going to do is try to get TSA out of the human resources and personnel business and into the security business to connect the dots.”

Trying Humans Security Resources Dots Human Resources Personnel Tsa

Author:John Mica

“Bridget adds, "Did Anyone bring a weapon?" "Confiscated," Zach admits for both of us. Vesper holds up her metal fingernail file. "They didn't take this." We're dealing with the forces of evil," I point out. "Not the TSA.”

Evil Force Weapons Add Metals Files Fingernails Tsa

Book:Diabolical

Source: Diabolical

“Under the Obama administration, TSA has been operating without an administrator for a year and a half. After the president's first two choices failed to meet expectations, a new administrator, John Pistole, was finally approved on Friday. Unfortunately, it will be the fifth administrator in eight years.”

Years Firsts Has Beens Two Choices President Half Expectations Eight Administration Friday Fifth Approved Administrators Two Choices Happy Friday Tsa

Author:John Mica

“Everything TSA does is reactionary - first they ban the box cutters, then of course you have to take your shoes off, then you have to take the liquids out, now we have to be patted down in our private areas because of the diaper bomber.”

Firsts Doe Courses Areas Shoes Boxes Corny Liquid Bans Reactionaries Diapers Bombers Cutters Tsa

Author:John Mica

“It's not an Israeli model, it's a TSA, screwed-up model. It should actually be the person who's looking at the ticket and talking to the individual. Instead, they've hired people to stand around and observe, which is a bastardization of what should be done.”

People Should Persons Done Individual Talking Models Tickets Israeli Screwed Up Tsa

Author:John Mica

“Every time I travel, government TSA officials seem to recognize that I'm a Muslim and 'randomly' pull me aside for 'special treatment'. My sincere hope and prayer is that, on the Day of Judgment, my Lord's angels also recognize me as a Muslim and pull me aside for special treatment”

Seems Government Prayer Lord Special Judgment Angel Officials Islamic Treatment Sincere Scholar Recognizing Muslim Hereafter Islamophobia Special Treatment Tsa

Author:Abu Ammaar Yasir Qadhi

“It would be unwise to say the least, irresponsible of us at the TSA, at the Homeland Security Department not to evolve our technology to match the changing threat environment that we inhabit.”

Would Be Technology Environment Security Threat Evolve Department Homeland Irresponsible Unwise Homeland Security Tsa Department Of Homeland Security

Author:Janet Napolitano

“When the TSA was established, it was never envisioned that it would become a huge, unwieldy bureaucracy which was soon to grow to 67,000 employees. As TSA has grown larger, more impersonal, and administratively top-heavy, I believe it is important that airports across the country consider utilizing the opt-out provision provided by law.”

Believe Important Country Law I Believe Grows Huge Heavy Employee Bureaucracy Airports Provision Utilizing Tsa

Author:John Mica

“Other countries, such as Israel, successfully employ behavior detection techniques at their airports, but the bloated, ineffective bureaucracy of TSA has produced another security failure for U.S. transportation systems.”

Country Security Behavior Israel Technique Other Countries Bureaucracy Airports Transportation Detection Government Bureaucracy Tsa

Author:John Mica

“I'm a little disappointed I didn't get fiddled with by a TSA agent at the airport. I feel unwanted. Maybe next time.”

Feels Littles Next Agents Disappointed Wwe Next Time Airports Unwanted Tsa Maybe Next Time

Author:William Regal

Tsa Quotes

Related topics

Tsa Quotes