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Quote by Jimmy Fallon

“The man who invented Doritos has passed away at the age of 97. He asked to be buried with the creator of Fritos and Cheetos in a variety pack.”

Quote by Jimmy Fallon

Author

Jimmy Fallon, born in September 1974, is an American television host. He is widely recognized for hosting 'The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon', a show known for its interactive and entertaining nature. Fallon is known for his humorous hosting style and engaging interactions with guests. more

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“The Department of Agriculture announced that it will ban six new strains of E. coli. Which explains why the hot dog vendor outside my building is now just selling napkins.”

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“Yesterday in Florida, President Obama kissed a woman on the cheek after she told him he looks good. Which explains why last night, Michelle made him sleep on Air Mattress One.”

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“Happy birthday to Arnold Palmer, who turned 82. That's 41 years iced tea and 41 years lemonade.”

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“Disney World is celebrating its 40th birthday! You can tell the characters are getting old. In addition to Snow White's seven dwarfs, she now has 25 cats.”

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“Starbucks is planning to close down all the restrooms in its New York locations. Which explains the most popular new Starbucks order: An empty cup.”

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“I just heard about a woman in Germany who just gave birth to a baby boy named "Jihad." Or as the TSA put it, "Hope you like Amtrak!”

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“A man in Thailand was arrested with more than 10,000 pairs of stolen underwear. Legal experts are expecting a brief trial.”

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“A man in Georgia was arrested for burglary after he left his Facebook account open on the victim's computer. But this is nice: He's only been in jail a few hours, and his status already says "In a Relationship!”

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“You don't have to be smart to act - look at the outgoing president of the United States.”

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