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Quote by Christopher Titus

“Everyone's a racist. It's the one thing that makes us all the same.”

Author

Christopher Titus is an American comedian known for his unique humor style and autobiographical comedy. Born on October 1, 1964, he has had a career in comedy for over 30 years. Titus' work often involves personal experiences, including his family background, marriage, and professional challenges. more

“In a crisis, my family puts aside all its petty differences and hatreds... Because a crisis, is a perfect opportunity to create *new* petty differences and hatreds! My dad's from that era when you lived to 50, your heart exploded and that was that. You know when you cook bacon and you pour the grease into the can? My dad's the can!”

Knows Heart Opportunity Differences Perfect Dad My Family Hatred Crisis My Dad Eras Cooks Petty Grease

Author:Christopher Titus

“My dad's all I've ever had. When I was 3 and 4, my mom used to take me to bars. I understand why now - babysitters cost beer, beer and-a-half an hour.”

Used Hours Half Mom Dad Cost My Dad My Mom Bars Beer Take Me Babysitter Why Now

Author:Christopher Titus

“I gave my father a heart attack. It was a practical joke. Come on, you push a guy's face in a cake he's got to clean it off. You hit a guy with a water balloon, he's got to dry off. Guy's in the hospital, you get his testicles shaved, he scratches and bleeds for a week... it's funny... you're not supposed to have a heart attack, it kills the joke.”